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My Life in the Military, Chapter 2

2020.09.26 01:00 borednightnurse1990 My Life in the Military, Chapter 2

okay, how about a more appropriate title for this post?
Based on the crude sub-sub title for this episode, one can safely guess how strongly i feel about this issue.
Yes dear reader. And to you 15 redditors who sent me chat messages and the other 26 who sent me direct messages asking for my input about military life as a woman. Finally, you will get the answers you are looking for.
As usual, before i begin on my usual rant, let me start off with an intro.
Be advised, i may or may not be a wee bit tipsy while writing this. I find i write best when i am left alone with my partner playing “straddle-what’s-basically-a-controlled-detonation-on-full-afterburners-on-a-night-flyby-exercise” and with a tumbler full of scotch within arm’s reach. Today’s post is brought to you by “small-batch-whisky-whom-i-shall-choose-to-not-name-because-im-actually-not-sponsored-by-them” and im staring at a stack of unnecessary paperwork that some brand spanking new good idea fairies (who will fofahkssakes will get lost in the woods the first chance they get) have dropped in my lap, putting me in just a teensy weensy homicidal mood.
You have finished your basic and occupational training. Depending on your nationality, you may undergo additional training, or you might be looking at orders chopping you off to your first unit. Yay! (Those first introductory training courses in the military doesnt count in my books since everyone is weird there anyway. Its where they weed out those unsuitable for this life and skim the cream of the crop.)
Dont break into your happy little dance yet. Its just beginning for you.
Here’s some generic advice from a wiser person than me.
Being a woman in the military is just, strange.
Lets get out of the way the obvious gimmes first.
Look. Im not gonna start with a sermon and go “dont shit where you eat” or “the military workplace is STILL a professional workplace, act professionally” sermonizing bullshit on you. Kind of high and mighty of me seeing as i married another military person. Youre an adult in a professional environment. Act accordingly. Just be respectful and be smart. If youre looking at co workers for potential life partners, have at it. Contrary to popular belief, military people are one of the most romantic people ever. Sure, were a little bit messed up in the head and come with some baggage, on account of all the killing and out performing the enemy when it comes to converting human bodies into pink mist, but who doesnt have baggage in their life?
If you even come remotely close to being decent looking in civvie life, you will be an instant army (or insert favorite branch) babe. You are surrounded by lonely, horny, and rowdy males. This is normal. In most cases, you will be exactly as lonely, horny, and rowdy as they are. Maybe even worse. Boys might think were all prim and proper and sugar and spice and everything nice, but the last time i looked down, im rocking the same beef curtains as you ladies. I know we are so much more grosser?/grossier? than dudes in most cases. Exhibit A: female side of any public bathroom.
Gone are the days when you have to put in the work and effort just to look good for a date. Seriously, all you have to do is change into civillian clothing on the weekend and you will find yourself inundated with invitations to a date before you even sign out of the main gate. If you’re above average looking and actually look good in combats, you will smell the pheromones from a mile away.
Let me make myself clear: THIS. DOES. NOT. MAKE. YOU. SPECIAL. There will come a time when your whole life will revolve around the military and you will have little time left to socialize in a civillian setting. This will mean that it may be possible your dating options will consist of purely fellow military members. Before you dip your toes in the work pool, remember that your situation might be very well the same for the people you are dating.
Be an adult. A responsible and accountable one. I highly believe that the antiquated rules prohibiting fraternization amongst the ranks is meant to mitigate any risks of abuse. This is 2020. That should no longer be the case. If a relationship ends badly, DO NOT use your hooha as a weapon to “win” the break up. I have seen so many cases of scumbag women in the ranks who are only one level evolved beyond being vaginal life support, abuse the new protections and equality measures enacted in the workplace. All you’re doing is unravelling all that work and preventing honest, hard working women from succesfully joining the ranks, and making it hard for legitimate victims to attain justice.
This strikes a really personal note with me because I was sexually assaulted by a senior student during leadership school. (I refuse to be called a rape “victim”.) I have been known to be the wild child all throughout my life. But nothing I have done made me deserve what that animal did to me. I had to fight hard to prove to the system that i am claiming that a legitimate offense took place, and i want justice, goddammit. Im not trying to game the system, im not trying to seek the spotlight, im not trying to “win” a breakup, i dont want anything at all except maybe look him in the eye and have him acknowledge that he deserves to serve time as restitution for his offense.
There are women out there who have had it worse than me. There are women out there who will never breathe the breath of the living again as a result of what happened to them. Do NOT even dare exploit a system trying to fix itself to prevent any more dead and violated women. You may have personally benefited from it now, but what about women you love? Friends? Sisters? Cousins? How would you be able to live with yourself if a system that has been tampered with by people like you is now unable to help them?
Tales of woe and sadness aside, i have also seen women bat their eyelashes at dumbass teenage barely out of highschool males in their class and ask if they can carry some of their loadout in their rucksack. And then complain in the next breath that life as a modern woman is still heavily biased. No honey, you dont get to do that. Take off the uniform and go sell pictures of your feet on gonewild if you wanna cash in on your vajayjay. You dont get to do that while wearing the same uniform that i do. One that i actually earned the right to wear.
Now, on to the more practical parts:
  1. Underwear: some militaries provide an allowance to female members so they can buy their own bras. Before you go to Victoria’s Secret or La Perla, ask yourself: how busty am i? If you are at the point where you need underwire in your brassiere, believe me, those wires will come popping out as soon as you shrug on your plates and squeeze your tatas. Do yourself a favour and use that bra allowance to have your own sports bras custom made.
If you’re a fan of small underwear like I am, do yourself a favour and leave the thongs at home when in field exes/deployments, and wear the issued boxers. Even though i scoff at the idea of the issued flame retardant boxers being your last line of defense against being burnt to a crisp, my reasons are a lot more practical. Where i live, lingerie dont grow on trees. That shit’s expensive. If it gets ripped up or damaged or rendered unwearable due to adverse living conditions, or stupid delicates murdering laundry machines at the wash, the military will not reimburse you for it.
  1. Feminine Hygiene: due to our anatomy, we are a lot more prone to UTIs and yeast infections when living in adverse conditions. Even when in FOBs that do their best to make themselves your home away from home, the conditions usually are still pretty ripe and favourable for infections to develop in unsanitary conditions. Set yourself up for success by making sure to pack enough washes and baby wipes. My job involves paying strict attention to small details. In fact, we are a lot more vigilant about it than your standard grunt. Its because our lives depend on it. How can i trust a soldier in my unit to be observant enough and not get themselves and me blown up, if i cant even trust them not to be taken out of commission by a UTI in the desert because they let their stank get so stanky to the point that they need an IV drip of antibiotics?
  2. Feminine Health: if you think your periods are a killer when youre in the comfort of your own home, think again. Imagine having cramps in the middle of the desert heat, stuffed in a bullet magnet tin box on wheels, surrounded by heavily armed stinky dudes, in a hostile country populated with innocent people who just want to live their lives in peace, and people who look like those innocent people, but instead of being peaceful, look forward to blowing themselves up just to kill you. Do yourself a favour: get an IUD or a hormone shot like Depoprovera. It will stop your periods dead in its tracks, and the brief period of discomfort after having those measures installed in your body is worth it.
  3. On deployment, bring (sexual) protection and some other stuff. Jesus, im so bad for saying this, but here’s what ive witnessed usually happen at FOBs. Fresh batch of troops get popped into the oven. They are given a bunch of briefings about conduct in country. Amongst those rules of conduct laid down is discouraging fraternization. There are people who go out and break this rule as soon as they can.
As ive mentioned before, i highly believe that anti fraternization rules are antiquated and will have to be reviewed some time soon. This is 2020, where even lower ranking enlisted can boast some more education and life experiences. A good majority of them know how to be an adult and not let their personal life do a mission creep on their work life. But since its the military, they have to take things slow and steady because all rules enacted should be carefully analyzed (a.k.a.: have a bunch of generals and senior staff get the chance to attach their names on it). Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs actually place intimacy as a requirement above physical needs. That Hierarchy does not cease to exist just because you wear combats. A good leader plans for that and helps their soldiers succeed.
Anyway, back to my point. You’ll be horny. You’ll be rowdy. And you’ll be lonely. This is where the protection and other stuff_ part comes in. Condoms + your IUD or any chosen form of birth control i mentioned above should be sufficient enough to protect you from the double hazards of disease and unwanted pregnancy. Please note that i highly recommend other ways of satisfying sexual needs prior to engaging in actual intercourse with another person. This is usually because getting it on also has a chance of one member of the party developing something that has no place developing in the middle of a goddamn mission.
Im not talking about fucking barnyard animals. Im talking about masturbation. This is where the other stuff comes in. The other stuff are, well, no other ways to put it, sex toys. Bear with me for a second here and let me explain. A horny, sex deprived soldier is a single minded soldier. A soldier who’s mind is less than 100% on the mission and preoccupied with getting their freak on is a distracted soldier. I have seen the rules relaxed on the field when it comes to bored, scared, and horny soldiers. A good leader can take care of boredom and fear. Lack of physical intimacy is something only the soldier can take care of. This is an easy gimme problem for men to take care of. Wake up, wank off, piss, smoke, drink coffee, and its All Good Morning Vietnam after that.
For females, its a little bit more complicated and harder to explain.
If you need to get laid, you need to get laid. Having sex with yourself should always be COA A, B, and C, before you start shooting long looks at those icky, cootie ridden boys. Just kidding. If men are allowed to take care of their own sexual needs solo, then why shouldnt you as well?
Why the sex toys then? Im talking strictly about vibrators. Put away the whips and chains. You dont need to bring your entire sex dungeon on deployment. Its because women’s bodies are unique in a million different ways. Some women find it pleasant to have some parts of the body stimulated. Some dont. Bringing a vibrator allows you to bypass all these “middleman” erogenous zones and get straight to business. A vibrator also helps women who cannot get satisfaction from pure manual stimulation of their “magic bean”. There are different kinds of tools out there to suit your needs.
Im Jewish by birth and has also commanded some Mormon troops. Jews and Mormons i found are the hardest troops to counsel when it comes to maintaining their sexual health. Jews because of the very nature of their guilt based culture, and Mormons because of their massively restricting rules about sexuality. I had a married Mormon soldier under my command whom ive noticed has been developing a pretty friendly relationship with one of the clerks. I knew it was a matter of time before these two heads into some dark and private area and start carrying on. I took the soldier aside and advised him to talk to his bishop and figure out a way to sate his sexual needs within the bounds of his faith, without creating drama in the workplace or ruining his marriage.
Btw, if youre learning about any of this just now, please go ahead and give your parents a bonk on the forehead for me. Thank youuuuuuu.
Just because you and your booty has 40k Instagram followers doesnt mean you are physically fit to join the military. Imagine all the “exercises” you do in the gym. Now imagine doing all that while wearing at least 150 lbs of kit. And then imagine doing that in a situation where your physical fitness may or may not be the one that saves your life.
I dont care if you have no ambitions towards joining the combat arms jobs. I knew of a guy who on gate duty while on deployment in the Balkans. Him and a buddy were lit up by effective fire to cover a young man trying to rush their gate while wearing a SVIED. This guy tackled him from behind and froze him in place so he couldnt clack himself off while trusting his buddy is providing covering fire. Him and his buddy are both cooks.
Physical fitness is an important part of your job requirements in the military regardless of what trade you apply for. Physical fitness is also a personal responsibility. Do not sign the dotted line expecting the military to whip you up into shape. All you will accomplish is break yourself trying.
Going back to the different physicality of the female anatomy, make sure your workouts are geared to fit into that military oriented demand. Gym fit is entirely different from military fit. I have always had lower back problems since hitting puberty because of my boobs. The problems started escalating even before i joined the military. I had never been fat my entire life but i soon realized i was never physically fit either. I depended on my high metabolism, raging hormones, and natural flexibility as a teenager to carry me through cheerleading and all the sports that i used to do. As an adult, i soon realized i cant depend on those things anymore. I had to focus on integrating a lot of core and back exercises on top of my workouts.
A physique based workout is not a strengthening workout. But that doesnt mean you have to give up on your goals of popping a six pack, popping some lats, and sporting a wicked v cut. You just have to be smart with your workouts. Focus on functional workouts that would enable you to go on long patrols while carrying heavy gear. Do that, do well with that, and the physique will come.
Last but not least, if you smoke, quit. Im not gonna sermon you on this. Theres plenty of information out there letting you know about the health risks associated with smoking. Later on in your career, sure, there might be some room for a vice. But smoking during military training when you desperately need your cardio will not do you any favours. I smoke here and there with my boys only when on deployment. A couple of exceptions for real life reasons when in garrison, say the birth of a baby, or some success that needs celebrating. But i only smoke cigars. Cubanos mostly, because if im gonna smoke a cancer stick, it will be an expensive cancer stick. Lmao. I also learned how to chew tobacco while working with Americans. Chewing tobacco is quite an interesting experience. I dont like doing it, but its quite an effective ice breaker when working with American counter parts, especially their Marines, when i approach them and ask: “want a dip?” and hand them a can of Skoal.
I originally wanted to post this as a series. Once the series is completed, i will create an index post and post that into militarystories and this sub. I have only posted one so far before this post.
However, my situation has changed. I am now in a position where i am doing the job of two people while our tempo is dramatically sped up. I will still take time to answer questions and requests for advice, but sadly, the endstate i was envisioning will not be possible until at least for a long while. This post has been marinating in my drafts folder for quite some time before i finally had to be honest with myself and admit that i am going about this the wrong way.
I do not want to disappoint everyone who sent me PMs and chat messages asking me for advice. I think doing it this way is a happy medium. I will still entertain private conversations and questions. Just please be patient if it takes me a while to respond.
Finally, to u/fishtheunicorn, i apologize for putting you on the spot like this. But, i usually creep the profiles of people who DM, chat, and follow me. I noticed that out of all of them, you are the only one who is still at such a young age in their life. So here’s a piece of advice that i send out to you and to similar fresh eager young faces like you only.
You have finally graduated high school. For some of you, its “now what do i do?”. For others, its your country’s version of your elite military academy where you graduate with a Baccalaureate and a commission. For a select few, the military is a last resort in hopes of not getting lost in life.
I joined the military as an already full grown adult. I left behind a professional career and discarded years’ worth of education that helped establish that. I do not regret any of it. All of those life experiences has made me a better person, a better leader, and a more than average soldier. My job requires me to be bold and decisive. While leaders like me are allowed leeway to make mistakes, mistakes made at our level usually produces a dead or badly injured friendly soldier at the other end of the decision making process. Our job as leaders is to use our soldiers to achieve our mission endstate. Its NOT our job to use them up.
If the military is the endstate you have been working on your entire life, holding off on signing that dotted line while gaining some more life experiences wouldnt hurt at the very least. Travel. Live with foreigners. Learn a new language and a new culture. Learn how to work and lead in a professional environment. Learn some professional and life skills. After that, when you feel that you’re ready, watch yourself be a rockstar once you finally join this unique brothesisterhood and bring all this wealth of knowledge and experience to the table.
If the military is nothing but a “eh, well, better than working at McDonalds” option for you after high school, know this: there is a place for you in the military too. There are plenty of opportunities for you to succeed as long as you apply yourself. But you only achieve this if you are honest with yourself first and foremost and humble enough to know that you need a lot of learning to do. Shed all preconceived notions and overestimated trust in your capabilities, and do not be afraid to put in some hard work.
Work hard. Share in everyone’s hardship. It is not wrapping yourself up in a flag and humming patriotic songs that would endear you to your colleagues. Its sharing the same suffering they are enduring. Part of the reason why medically profiled people get ostracized in the military is that because they are now out of the shared hardships equation.
Be bold. Pick left, pick right, but stick to your guns when you know you’re right. Boldness and bravery also means yielding when you know you dont have enough experience or knowledge to support your decision.
Be humble. Theres nothing more infuriating than coming fresh out of the training schools and thinking you already know everything. For most militaries, training schools only give you the template of what you need to know. You will have more specifics to learn once you get to your unit.
Be generous. Ive been in 2 way ranges more often than i would care to. One thing i took away from those experiences is that life is short. Whether be it from someone wanting to kill you dead, or an idiot who shouldnt have been issued a driver’s license, life can get cut short for anyone at any point in time. Be generous with your affections. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Dont wait for the right moment to tell a loved one that you love them. You should be saying that everyday anyway, and making your actions be reflective of that.
Be selfless. Its a sad state of affairs that I dont get to work with the Canadians as much as i would like to, but i have observed an interesting practice they do in field exercises. Sometimes, they get a treat and have cooks prepare a fresh cooked field meal for them. They bring food out in heated containers and have the troops line up right there in the field for meal time. Senior NCOs and ALL officers stay in the back of the line and let all their lower ranking members eat first. Even though portions are heavily rationed out to ensure everyone gets something to eat, its always slim pickings for everyone else left after the Privates and Corporals have gotten their food. This experience stuck with me and has been a core principle in my leadership style.
Selflessness in soldiering is not limited to jumping on top of grenades. I always make sure my troops are well fed, well supplied, and well rested. I do not spoil them, but i make sure theyre not short changed either. I have marched straight up to the face of the Major in charge of our logistics when i was a junior officer and demanded why my troops are forced to ratfuck and stretch one MRE for 3 days per man, when it was him and his shop that fucked up in outfitting us with what we need for a simple field exercise. I refuse to make my men pay for other people’s inability to do their job. I make sure that i pull at least one sentry shift per rotation. I go above and beyond in coaching and imparting life skills to those who went from the care of their parents and the educational system, straight to the care of the military. Those who have had no opportunities to gain those skills on their own.
I do this not for personal gain or recognition. I do it because i know im not special. I know that some of these rockstars i have the privilege to lead will be leading some other rockstars themselves in the future. My ability to wear a uniform and serve my country is a road paved for me by people before me who brought in positive changes to our organization. Positive change in the military lies in the hands of people like this, and doing job well as their leader in training them, and whatever i do as i lead them, is a crucial ingredient in making sure that those positive changes happen.
To close this, i am more than willing to coach you specifically on how to prep for success in the military if youre willing to bear with me and my personal time constraints. While i may not be familiar with the intricacies of applying in your particular nation’s military, there are a lot more i can help you out with.
Edit: ladies! Ho-ly. Lol. Okay. Got the gist of all the comments and the PMs. Okay. Im linking a few shops you guys might want to check out. All of these are shops i have personally done business with in the past, and they all do either custom work, or custom editing for your sports bras. They are in different countries and some of them only accept in person/in store business. But the beauty of these times being so unpredictable due to COVID, you might just be able to convince them to do remote work with you as long as you clearly articulate what you want. The prices are a bit steeper than your usual already expensive lingerie, but i swear, its worth it.
I too have plugged in “custom made sports bras” in Google and came up with frustrating hits. What initially got me started with it is that i was able to sweet talk a seamstress into “experimenting” with my bras. I have a pair that was as close to perfect as i have ever had, and all she had to do was strip it down and resize it in her shop based on my measurements. It might be a harder process for some, and it might be an easier process to others. It depends on every single woman’s body type.
Technically, theres no such thing right now as a “true” custom made/bespoke sports bra. Its all just basically mass produced stretchy sweat wicking fabric that you jam your ta-tas into and hope for the best. I dont like “true” sports bras. I dont like how i have to peel them off like a shirt. (Yeah, yeah, i get it, there’s ones that have clasps, but thats a recent development). I prefer swimwear bras or cheer practice bras. Those ones have a lot more optionality and customization options without taking away too much from the support aspect of things.
If you cant find any shop nearby that offers those services, its quite easy to go talk to a seamstress/tailor who would be willing to modify a bra for your specific body measurements. Soma is a good brand for its selections, and Lululemon for its next generation fabrics. Find out the best fabric from Lululemon, scope some styles from Soma, ask if theres any athletics or cheerleading outfitters near you than can assemble a bra close to your size, and then have the seamstress/tailor do the final fitting. Lots of work, but ive done it before, and its not that hard.
Putting this info in a military context, you dont need a “true” sports bra specifically. Take this advice and adapt it into your personal context. Maybe youre like me who still can benefit from a hybrid bra like a swim/cheer bra for support to approximate the support you get from underwire. Maybe you need to double up on the sports bra so you get to control the “squish” factor you get from the plates. (I actually had to do this before). Or maybe, sadly, its time to really look at a reductive surgery as an option.
Toru and Naoko
Buttress and Snatch
Rigby and Peller
Edit 2:
Gawdfakendammit. Anyone know how to get rid of the annoying cover photos that links pull into the post? I dont want this post’s cover photo to be a picture of a boob holster. Lol.
submitted by borednightnurse1990 to FuckeryUniveristy [link] [comments]

2020.09.25 19:47 hellocorn Post-Op Bras for small band, large cups

I got my date scheduled! Oct 19th woot woot
Searching for post-op bras I am having the same issue I always do looking for regular bras. Currently at a 30JJ (UK) / 30N (US) and I expect after reduction I will still be pretty big at the 30G (UK) / 30I (US). I haven't been able to find many post-op bras that have a smaller band size at 30 and STILL have larger cups. Someone did recommend a Macom post surgery bra that only gives band sizes and promises to fit any cup size. So I may buy that one but its like $70 :C
What do ya'll do with your post-op bras after you've healed? Is anyone else stuck in my small band, big titty life?
submitted by hellocorn to Reduction [link] [comments]

2020.09.24 22:24 LewyOnMars in my head - an open journey [2]

Continued from Part 1
(this is a slow one)
After we returned home from the Vegas trip, it was getting to the end of 2012 and things were busy with the holidays. During that time I booked a hiking trip out west for mid March, I hadn’t done any west of the Mississippi before but became interested in it after the Vegas trip (this trip is it’s own mini-story, but we’ll skip over it for now). In mid-December my wife began having some health issues and the doctors recommended a hysterectomy and some other work, which was scheduled for mid-January.
I was a little nervous about her surgery and any issues (physical or mental, it can be a traumatic experience) she might have afterwards and began doing some research online… but life is strange. While in a nearby city for work, I ran into a woman (C) in a coffee shop who was talking about working with women who had gone through hysterectomies. It turns out that she did quite a bit more than that, C was a life & relationship coach as well as a massage therapist and tantra/reiki provider.
After talking to my wife about her, she set up an initial phone appointment and they planned for a face to face appointment after the surgery… which they ended up not having because S was really doing great with the whole thing (huge relief). S did see C a couple of times in 2013, and I ended up seeing C myself after returning from my hiking trip, and would see her every month or so for a massage… this becomes relevant later.
The rest of 2013 was not really uneventful, but doesn’t have a lot of impact on this particular story. I bought a lot of watches (I mean, A LOT of watches.. I have an addiction). Chased my 3 year old around. Chased my 11 year old around. Chased the beagle around (she was fast when she wanted to be). Bought more watches (seriously). Went to my brother’s wedding. We went to the conference in Vegas again at the end of the year. Got to see NIN (this was the 4th time we’d seen them, always a great show). Didn’t do anything crazy, we just weren’t in the right mental space due to other things that were happening at the time.
Most of 2014, while also not uneventful, didn’t have a lot of impact on this story. More watches, more chases, more trips. More interactions with C for us both. Budding interest in photography (beyond just taking family photos and pictures of my way too many watches). Trip to Colorado for the first time. And then, during the end of year conference trip to Vegas... we had a talk.
You see, during our interactions with C (sometimes massage, often relationship discussions and learning about tantra and other energy work), we’d begun to get more interested in exploring new things. Specifically exploring new things that we could share with each other. What we wanted was more experiences of our own that we could come back to each other and share. Learn new things and teach each other. What’s really amazing to me is that we came to this decision independently and together.. Meaning we had the idea in our own minds, but when we decided to discuss it with each other we were both already “there”. Among other things, S was keen to explore and develop her dominant side in a BDSM context, and she really couldn’t do that with me. We’d tried a few times previously and I’m just not submissive, and bottoming really didn’t work for me... tie me up and I get anxious (not in the sexy way), dress me in women's clothes (we got as far as the bra) and I apparently get a sad puppy dog look, etc. Anyway...
When we talked about opening, we referred to it as that, but what we were really thinking was polyamory. Figuring we leaned closer to that end of the "open" spectrum. The idea of flings wasn't off putting, but at this point we'd only ever had sex with each other, and wanted to try and have real relationships with those we were having sex with.. not in a "we're gonna commit to each other" kinda way but at least in a "we're dating" kinda way. This is what we thought at the time, or at least what we thought we thought at the time (I hope you appreciate the difference). You see, while we knew communication was key to making all this work, we were already setting ourselves up for failures by not knowing or admitting to ourselves what it was we wanted out of this, and therefore not being able to communicate that to each other. And I think there was a bit of trying to protect the other person going on as well, telling them (and to an extent believing it) what it was we thought they wanted to hear in order to make all this ok.
So in Vegas with happy (if deluded) thoughts of open relationships (and kinky shenanigans) in our heads we… did nothing crazy. It was still a new decision and we wanted to sit with it a little. S did decide to take me to a strip club while we were there though, I’d never been to one previously. We went in the mid-afternoon and had some fun watching and talking to the girls, then flew home…
And lived happily ever after....
Not so much.
To be continued...

Cast of Characters (in alphabetical order):
C: life/relationship coach and massage/tantra provider in virginia J: massage/tantra provider in vegas S: my wife
submitted by LewyOnMars to polyamory [link] [comments]

2020.09.23 14:27 leeannbeck My ex just told me they are trans. I'm trans.

Let's get to the point. I am AJ, short for James (pronouns he/him). M and I have known each other for nine years, together for seven of them. When we first met, M presented as a cisgender man and I presented as a cisgender woman. I broke up with M two years ago, and we stayed friends. M still is heels over head in love with me, M loves me very much.
(I know this is the wrong subreddit and myexistrans is invite only. I just need to get this out on what else I can do to support M, so bear with me for the time being.)
For the past three years, M has known I am transmasculine nonbinary. M also had their struggles about me being transmasc nonbinary--constantly being worried that I'd never wear dresses/lingerie/bras/panties ever again, I'd never have periods again, I'd never have breasts and a vagina again, I'd never have long hair again, etc. Considering that M reiterated that M did accept and love me being myself as transmasc nonbinary, this glaring contradiction was confusing as hell for me. Some of the comments M made offhand were transphobic and/or some of what M did triggered my gender dysphoria, and we had several conversations/arguments about it but M never seemed to really process and understand it.
(To be fair, M was having some serious substance abuse issues during this time, being high and/or drunk, and this was one of the biggest factors in why I left M. M was just not "all there" for so much of it.)
Over those three years, M also increasingly made their femininity more prominent. Crossdressing, makeup, specific comments M made... the little things were adding up. None of it bothered me, I was supportive and nonjudgmental.
Well, sure enough, M came out as trans (MTF) to me earlier tonight, pronouns she/hers/they/them.
M confessed that as much as she accepted me for who I was and am, she realized those transphobic comments about my transition stemmed from some deep-seated fears and insecurities she had. M was raised Roman Catholic, now 41 years old, and the father of four gorgeous children (ages 20, 14, 12, 8; the oldest two on the west coast with M from M's first ex, and the youngest two several states away with M's second ex).
(1) M strongly feels that she will never be able to transition... ever, and that I will be the only one in her life to ever know and see her for who she truly is.
Even though M is my ex, it just breaks my heart hearing that from her, trans person to trans person. Most of the folks in my life have been nothing but very supportive since I came out to them as trans.
I asked M why she feels this way, and M said she's afraid of being judged, being abandoned, being rejected. M's also afraid that M's second ex will do her damnedest to bar M from seeing the younger two kids whatsoever because M knows her very well and the ex is quick to judge. M has a difficult time making friends, let alone finding other gender nonconforming/trans adults in their early 40s that M can talk with.
M told me that her feeling of being never able to transition subsequently led her to also feel that the closest she would ever get to being a woman for herself was if I still had my breasts and my vagina when I was in bed with her, if I wore dresses/lingerie/bras/panties, if I had periods, etc. Basically, M was living vicariously through me the whole time and I didn't realize it. I was (and still am) M's image of the ideal woman M wanted (and wants) to be. M sees herself in me. M is only now beginning to realize that the transphobia she internalized from society about herself, she was projecting it on to me.
(2) It is for those reasons cited above in #1 (and quite a few other reasons) that M told me that she has such a difficult time letting me go... even though it has been over two years since we last broke up. M is afraid that M would never find any other person who would "get it" and love her for who she is. M is the sort of person who just has to have a life partner, M doesn't want to be single.
(3) Within hours of telling me she's trans (MTF), M repeatedly sent me photos of her trying to do sexy poses in lingerie, each time she would ask me if this or that turned me on, and in between she'd say, "Can I be your girl? Just you and me again?"
I tried explaining to M a few times that we're exes, that I am not turned on, I am not interested in receiving those pictures, and that I am not interested in dating or sexual activities whatsoever with anyone for the time being. I did a heavy emphasis to her that I am trying not to burst her bubble and me not being turned on does not necessarily mean that she is "not hot/good/sexy/pretty" as a woman (because of the timing how she just came out as trans to me a few hours prior, I was trying to be as considerate as possible).
Here is what I have done.
Here are my questions, focused on how to support M.
Thank you!
submitted by leeannbeck to mypartneristrans [link] [comments]

2020.09.22 22:08 bella_vampira_97 Mysterious unidentified victim in a robbery-homicide case

I write this post hoping it'll catch attention of someone that can help identify the victim. I've tried my best but I can't find any useful picture related to the victim, the information I've found and posted here is all I have Since this post can't get much attention in the sub gratefuldoe, I decide to post it here again.
Hi everyone, finally I decide to write down something because it's been stucked in my head for almost one month. All the homicide cases in which the killer has never been arrested or the victim has never been identified always got my attention, and this case is not an exception. However, I've never thought I would pay so much time and attention to it. This case didn't take place in the US, it's in my country.
On 17-18th august circa, I had a bizarre dream. In my dream, I was following the investigation of a homicide case, and I eventually listened to the confession of the killer. He has killed a woman and has hidden her corpse in a in a field along a rural road. He said that few days later he came back to cover her more thoroughly because he has seen "some strange phenomena".
I was terrifed when I woke up, the dream was so real. I grabbed my phone and searched for something like unidentified woman in homicide case, the corpse in the forest/field,.... Among the first results, one case has catched my attention, I'll write it shortly because WHAT I WANT TO DISCUSS WITH YOU IS THE TRUE ID OF THE VICTIM, not the details of the case. On 19 August 2018 (I was thrilled when I saw the date, I had that dream almost exactly 2 years after the murder), one of the suspect (Hoang Duc Sinh) rided his motorbike from Quang Ngai, province Quang Ngai to province Binh Dinh, there he will meet his accomplice (Nguyen Van Hien) and the two would go for some burglary (they had been burglars with several criminal records). On the road, he met a woman who asked for a ride to Nha Trang city, Khanh Hoa province (further than Binh Dinh province) and he told her to pay an amount of cash for fuel. The woman has accepted. At a gas station, when she pulled out the wallet to pay, Sinh saw that she had lots of cashes and planned to rob her on the road. When they arrived to Binh Dinh provinced, Sinh secretly made a sign for Hien to have him follow. At a certain point in Phu Yen province, the two suspects have strangled the woman and made some other injury, she died and they hid her in a acacia field along the road. Then the two took her money (equivalent to 600$) and thrown her bag into a river. The police department of Phu Yen province had done many methods but they're still not able to identify the victim. That's all the things I 've read on the news. Apparently those few informations didn't satisfy me, so I've decided to make my own research. I've searched for something more regards the case but strangely, I did't find any other information.
Initially I didn't know any information about her range of age, so I think there're some hypothese about the ID of the woman:
1- She could be a runaway long time ago, she may have estranged from her family for many years so when she went missing they didn't know.
2- All her family members are dead and she was currently a single person. She may have been on her way for some small business.
3- The only person that she had (could be her husband, boyfriend, children, sibling,...) may have been in jail or juvenile detention, and she might be on the way to visit them at the time of the murder! (This may explain why nobody reported her missing). There's indeed a temporary detention center in Nha Trang.
4- She could be a single mother and her child/children is/are to small to know how to find her.
5- She could be related to some criminal activies, so her family/accomplices didn't claim her because they were afraid to be arrested.
I've shared what I was thinking with my boyfriend, he said that for him the hypothesis 2 was reasonable. But I think it's not that easy, for me maybe it's a combination between the hypotheses 3 and 4.
Since the following days I still couldn't cash it out of my head, I continued the research. The most precious thing I've found is a document in an open source for judges/lawyers, there're much more things than on the news, eventhough it's not the complete one. The victim is a woman between 40-50 years old. And much to my dismay, I found out that after she died, Sinh has used a rock and beaten her beyond recognition (maybe that's the reason why she can't be IDed through the face). It was gruesome! How could a terrible crime like this be barely shown to the public? The 2 suspects are sentenced for life in prison on November 7th 2019, that's when the first and only news regarding the case were published (with very few informations). Did the police hide something, or the further investigation is still active? I really don't get it, there's never been any information about the victim like facial reconstruction, description of clothing, notable characteristics of the body,... like many other cases in which the victims are unidentified. In the document, they said her belongings found together with her is a blue T-shirt with polka-dot pattern, an yellow shirt, blue pants, pink socks, pink bra and pink underwear, a red hat, a pair of old white sleeves (wrapped in plastic bag), red foodwear (wrapped in plastic bag). Base on the color of her clothing, I think she could be even younger (like 35-40 years old), and she wasn't rich (which may explain why she hitchhiked instead of going on a long-way bus). The police have taken DNA sample of several people with their initiative in the document but of course there's no match. In Vietnam there's no database of DNA informations like Namus, 23andme, ancestry,.. so it's much more difficult. I can't find the complete document about the case because it's not free-accessible. One of the killer - Hien, has appealed on November 8th 2019, the court has accepted the request to investigate more thoroughly. Since they continued the investigation, I really hope that they will do their best to find the true ID of the woman and bring her home so her family can have closure. I feel extremely sorry for her because she died in the most painful and lonely way. She could be mother, sister, friend of someone. I don't live in Vietnam since a couple of years ago so I don't have many connections that can help search for some informations, even if I was in Vietnam, it would still be difficult because those are supposed to be police's work.
Here is the map of important places in the case: https://www.google.com/maps/diC%E1%BA%A7u+B%E1%BB%93ng+S%C6%A1n+M%E1%BB%9Bi,+B%E1%BB%93ng+S%C6%A1n,+Ho%C3%A0i+Nh%C6%A1n,+B%C3%ACnh+%C4%90%E1%BB%8Bnh,+Vi%E1%BB%87t+Nam/Dieu+Tri,+Th%C3%B4n+Giang+Nam,+B%C3%ACnh+%C4%90%E1%BB%8Bnh,+Vi%E1%BB%87t+Nam/Th%E1%BB%8B+x%C3%A3+S%C3%B4ng+C%E1%BA%A7u,+Ph%C3%BA+Y%C3%AAn,+Vi%E1%BB%87t+Nam/%C4%90T644,+S%C3%B4ng+C%E1%BA%A7u,+Ph%C3%BA+Y%C3%AAn,+Vi%E1%BB%87t+Nam/Nha+Trang,+Kh%C3%A1nh+H%C3%B2a,+Vi%E1%BB%87t+Nam/@13.4156498,108.8947592,8.52z/data=!4m32!4m31!1m5!1m1!1s0x3168cffabcf4c7b5:0x371ff54b1699db9e!2m2!1d109.0085671!2d14.4154055!1m5!1m1!1s0x316f148f36aafd53:0xa842973865d5644f!2m2!1d109.1553021!2d13.8101029!1m5!1m1!1s0x316f9f3feb73545b:0xa487d74a1cc56499!2m2!1d109.1991932!2d13.5809065!1m5!1m1!1s0x316fa7b2b10c8de3:0x6ef5bc1894ab88d0!2m2!1d109.1124639!2d13.5320764!1m5!1m1!1s0x3170677811cc886f:0x5c4bbc0aa81edcb9!2m2!1d109.1967488!2d12.2387911!3e0
I explain:
In case this post can catch attention of some vietnamese, here are some link regarding the case:
https://thuvienphapluat.vn/banan/ban-an/ban-an-682020hspt-ngay-18052020-ve-toi-giet-nguoi-va-toi-cuop-tai-san-134935 https://congly.vn/phap-dinh/toa-tuyen-an/sat-hai-nguoi-phu-nu-di-nho-xe-cuop-tai-san-320104.html
For the vietnameses: if you know a woman who vanished in August 2018, please contact the police department of Phu Yen province. Your information may help identify the victim.
Sorry for my english, I'm not native english speaker.
Edit 1: after considering all the informations I got, I strongly believe that she was on her way to visit somebody in the prison/detention since she seemed not rich but may have prepared an amount of money for her trip. She may have been not well-connected with society, so she didn't consider the fact that hitchhiking is much more risky than catching a bus, naively believed that all the people are nice. I would cry right away if it was true.
Update 1: I've searched for different ways to go from Bong Son (where the victim hitchhiked) to Nha Trang (where the victim wanted to arrive), I see that Bong Son train station is only 3.7km of distance from where she stood, and the ticket price is only slightly higher than the cash she paid the killer for the ride (about 8$). While the shuttle bus-stop is located at 16.8km from where she stood, the ticket price is almost twofold (about 15$). In both cases, she could have arrived to Nha Trang by bus or on train safely and more conveniently with an advantageous price but she didn't. This fact strengthens the hypothesis she wasn't a local resident in the area where she hitchhiked or had been living close to that area (since she didn't know the train station is near), but I'm not sure about the reason why she ended up being there. She may have hitchhiked to arrived to that point, then continued to hitchhike to go to Nha Trang. I'm trying to search for the reports of missing person (the ones that are pubblished by their family on social media) in the whole country, but especially I focus on the provinces between the north boundary to the point where the victim hitchhiked. Within few days I'll convince the admin of a group where the people look for their missing family member, friend,.... to make a post about this case, hopefully someone will recognize her through the description of her belongings and missing time. Here's the map of the train station and the bus stop, to show how close is the distance between where the victim stood and the train station:
submitted by bella_vampira_97 to VietNam [link] [comments]

2020.09.16 00:11 bella_vampira_97 mysterious unidentified woman in an robbery-Homicide case

(Sorry for the error on the title, I was typing in a hurry) I write this post hoping it'll catch attention of someone that can help identify the victim. I've tried my best but I can't find any useful picture related to the victim, the information I've found and posted here is all I have
Hi everyone, finally I decide to write down something because it's been stucked in my head for almost one month. All the homicide cases in which the killer has never been arrested or the victim has never been identified always got my attention, and this case is not an exception. However, I've never thought I would pay so much time and attention to it. This case didn't take place in the US, it's in my country.
On 17-18th august circa, I had a bizarre dream. In my dream, I was following the investigation of a homicide case, and I eventually listened to the confession of the killer. He has killed a woman and has hidden her corpse in a in a field along a rural road. He said that few days later he came back to cover her more thoroughly because he has seen "some strange phenomena".
I was terrifed when I woke up, the dream was so real. I grabbed my phone and searched for something like unidentified woman in homicide case, the corpse in the forest/field,.... Among the first results, one case has catched my attention, I'll write it shortly because WHAT I WANT TO DISCUSS WITH YOU IS THE TRUE ID OF THE VICTIM, not the details of the case. On 19 August 2018 (I was thrilled when I saw the date, I had that dream almost exactly 2 years after the murder), one of the suspect (Hoang Duc Sinh) rided his motorbike from Quang Ngai, province Quang Ngai to province Binh Dinh, there he will meet his accomplice (Nguyen Van Hien) and the two would go for some burglary (they had been burglars with several criminal records). On the road, he met a woman who asked for a ride to Nha Trang city, Khanh Hoa province (further than Binh Dinh province) and he told her to pay an amount of cash for fuel. The woman has accepted. At a gas station, when she pulled out the wallet to pay, Sinh saw that she had lots of cashes and planned to rob her on the road. When they arrived to Binh Dinh provinced, Sinh secretly made a sign for Hien to have him follow. At a certain point in Phu Yen province, the two suspects have strangled the woman and made some other injury, she died and they hid her in a acacia field along the road. Then the two took her money (equivalent to 600$) and thrown her bag into a river. The police department of Phu Yen province had done many methods but they're still not able to identify the victim. That's all the things I 've read on the news. Apparently those few informations didn't satisfy me, so I've decided to make my own research. I've searched for something more regards the case but strangely, I did't find any other information.
Initially I didn't know any information about her range of age, so I think there're some hypothese about the ID of the woman:
1- She could be a runaway long time ago, she may have estranged from her family for many years so when she went missing they didn't know.
2- All her family members are dead and she was currently a single person. She may have been on her way for some small business.
3- The only person that she had (could be her husband, boyfriend, children, sibling,...) may have been in jail or juvenile detention, and she might be on the way to visit them at the time of the murder! (This may explain why nobody reported her missing).
4- She could be a single mother and her child/children is/are to small to know how to find her.
5- She could be related to some criminal activies, so her family/accomplices didn't claim her because they were afraid to be arrested.
I've shared what I was thinking with my boyfriend, he said that for him the hypothesis 2 was reasonable. But I think it's not that easy, for me maybe it's a combination between the hypotheses 3 and 4.
Since the following days I still couldn't cash it out of my head, I continued the research. The most precious thing I've found is a document in an open source for judges/lawyers, there're much more things than on the news, eventhough it's not the complete one. The victim is a woman between 40-50 years old. And much to my dismay, I found out that after she died, Sinh has used a rock and beaten her beyond recognition (maybe that's the reason why she can't be IDed through the face). It was gruesome! How could a terrible crime like this be barely shown to the public? The 2 suspects are sentenced for life in prison on November 7th 2019, that's when the first and only news regarding the case were published (with very few informations). Did the police hide something, or the further investigation is still active? I really don't get it, there's never been any information about the victim like facial reconstruction, description of clothing, notable characteristics of the body,... like many other cases in which the victims are unidentified. In the document, they said her belongings found together with her is a blue T-shirt with polka-dot pattern, an yellow shirt, blue pants, pink socks, pink bra and pink underwear, a red hat, a pair of old white sleeves (wrapped in plastic bag), red foodwear (wrapped in plastic bag). Base on the color of her clothing, I think she could be even younger (like 35-40 years old), and she wasn't rich (which may explain why she hitchhiked instead of going on a long-way bus). The police have taken DNA sample of several people with their initiative in the document but of course there's no match. In my country there's no database of DNA informations like Namus, 23andme, ancestry,.. so it's much more difficult. I can't find the complete document about the case because it's not free-accessible. One of the killer - Hien, has appealed on November 8th 2019, the court has accepted the request to investigate more thoroughly. Since they continued the investigation, I really hope that they will do their best to find the true ID of the woman and bring her home so her family can have closure. I feel extremely sorry for her because she died in the most painful and lonely way. She could be mother, sister, friend of someone. There're still many things I want to write but it's late, I'd like to add something later on.
Here is the map of important places in the case: https://www.google.com/maps/diC%E1%BA%A7u+B%E1%BB%93ng+S%C6%A1n+M%E1%BB%9Bi,+B%E1%BB%93ng+S%C6%A1n,+Ho%C3%A0i+Nh%C6%A1n,+B%C3%ACnh+%C4%90%E1%BB%8Bnh,+Vi%E1%BB%87t+Nam/Dieu+Tri,+Th%C3%B4n+Giang+Nam,+B%C3%ACnh+%C4%90%E1%BB%8Bnh,+Vi%E1%BB%87t+Nam/Th%E1%BB%8B+x%C3%A3+S%C3%B4ng+C%E1%BA%A7u,+Ph%C3%BA+Y%C3%AAn,+Vi%E1%BB%87t+Nam/%C4%90T644,+S%C3%B4ng+C%E1%BA%A7u,+Ph%C3%BA+Y%C3%AAn,+Vi%E1%BB%87t+Nam/Nha+Trang,+Kh%C3%A1nh+H%C3%B2a,+Vi%E1%BB%87t+Nam/@13.4156498,108.8947592,8.52z/data=!4m32!4m31!1m5!1m1!1s0x3168cffabcf4c7b5:0x371ff54b1699db9e!2m2!1d109.0085671!2d14.4154055!1m5!1m1!1s0x316f148f36aafd53:0xa842973865d5644f!2m2!1d109.1553021!2d13.8101029!1m5!1m1!1s0x316f9f3feb73545b:0xa487d74a1cc56499!2m2!1d109.1991932!2d13.5809065!1m5!1m1!1s0x316fa7b2b10c8de3:0x6ef5bc1894ab88d0!2m2!1d109.1124639!2d13.5320764!1m5!1m1!1s0x3170677811cc886f:0x5c4bbc0aa81edcb9!2m2!1d109.1967488!2d12.2387911!3e0
I explain:
For the vietnameses: if you know a woman who vanished in August 2018, please contact the police department of Phu Yen province. Your information may help identify the victim.
Sorry for my english, I'm not native english speaker.

Edit 1: after considering all the informations I got, I strongly believe that she was on her way to visit somebody in the prison/detention since she seemed not rich but may have prepared an amount of money for her trip. She may have been not well-connected with society, so she didn't consider the fact that hitchhiking is much more risky than catching a bus, naively believed that all the people are nice. I would cry right away if it was true.

Update 1: I've searched for different ways to go from Bong Son (where the victim hitchhiked) to Nha Trang (where the victim wanted to arrive), I see that Bong Son train station is only 3.7km of distance from where she stood, and the ticket price is only slightly higher than the cash she paid the killer for the ride (about 8$). While the shuttle bus-stop is located at 16.8km from where she stood, the ticket price is almost twofold (about 15$). In both cases, she could have arrived to Nha Trang by bus or on train safely and more conveniently with an advantageous price but she didn't. This fact strengthens the hypothesis she wasn't a local resident in the area where she hitchhiked or had been living close to that area (since she didn't know the train station is near), but I'm not sure about the reason why she ended up being there. She may have hitchhiked to arrived to that point, then continued to hitchhike to go to Nha Trang. I'm trying to search for the reports of missing person (the ones that are pubblished by their family on social media) in the whole country, but especially I focus on the provinces between the north boundary to the point where the victim hitchhiked. Within few days I'll convince the admin of a group where the people look for their missing family member, friend,.... to make a post about this case, hopefully someone will recognize her through the description of her belongings and missing time.

Here's the map of the train station and the bus stop, to show how close is the distance between where the victim stood and the train station:
submitted by bella_vampira_97 to gratefuldoe [link] [comments]

2020.09.15 13:03 Epicliberalman69 T+2 guide for retards

Alright, over the last few days I've seen a number of people confused by what a T+2 is and why are people doing a T+2, well hopefully I'll be be able to give you a rundown of what T+2 trading is.

What Is T+2 Trading?

In short and simple terms T+2 trading allows a trade to occur on the day, and settlement only occurring 2 trading days in the future, for example, I purchase 1613 shares of BRN on the 1/9/20 (Monday) for 0.31 ($500.03), the settlement of the 1613 shares are not due until the 3/9/20 (Wednesday), On the 3/9/20, I need to have the funds available in my CDIA account (The original $500.03) by the end of the trading day or Tom will come and kneecap me. Note, Trading days do not occur on a weekend, so buying shares on a Thursday means the settlement won't be due until Monday.
So, In this short time-frame of 2 trading days, you can effectively leverage the $10,000 T+2 limit TommSec gives you, meaning you could buy up to $10,000 of stonks, sell it within the T+2 time frame and pay out/be payed out the difference. For Example, I purchase 29033 shares of BRN on the 1/9/20 ($9,000.23), this would be settled on the 3/9/20, however, I sell all of my BRN shares the next trading day (2/9/20) for 0.47 a piece, resulting in a gross sale of $13,645, when this happens, the settlement due on the 3/9/20 is nullified, and instead you will be payed out the difference (13,645-9,000.23) of $4,644.77 on the 4/9/20. In reverse, if you bought $9,000 of stock to be settled on the 3/9/20, and it had dropped by 20% ($7200) when you sold on the 2/9/20, you would have to pay the difference of $1800 by the 3/9/20, the original settlement date does not change in the event of a loss. Also to note, TommSex will not Offset a trade made 2 days after the initial trade, this is according to their Client Guide, and I've seen one guy on here whose trades didn't cancel each other out.

Capital Gains Tax and T+2 Trading, together at last

Capital Gains Tax (CGT) and Capital Losses only effect GAINS AND LOSSES THAT YOU INCUR, effectively, if I leverage $9,000 of debt using CommSex for a T+2 trade and end up selling at $15,000 I only pay a tax on the gain of $6,000, not the $15,000, same goes for incurring losses. If you were to sell $9000 of shares to cover the debt you still have to pay tax on the GAIN OF THOSE $9000 OF SHARES (5400 x 1.666... = ~9000, 9,000 - 5,400 = $3,600 Gain) meaning when the ATO releases a T-800 after you and your dog because you didn't pay your Capital Gains Tax you can't claim that you didn't actually earn anything. I shouldn't have to write this, but I've seen this question pop up a few times, please talk to an accountant if you have no fucking clue.

T+2 Trading Sounds like free money

There is no such thing as a free lunch, this is something your dad should have taught you if he wasn't nae naed by a guy driving an AU Falcon. To summarise there's a number of Risks vs Rewards
  1. You could make big money
  2. You can effectively increase you exposure to a particular stock far above what you're worth
  3. If everything goes tits up, Tom will personally visit you and recreate the opening intro from Fallout: New Vegas
  1. You could lose Big money
  2. You will need to set up stop-losses so you don't lose too much
  3. You will always have to pay full CGT, as the discount only applies after holding for 12 months and 1 day
  4. You cannot read the market, this is why the sub was flooded with loss porn on the 11/9/20 (Which in-turn led to the T+2 Questions) because epic nae nae babies thought seeing a continuous 30% rise in a stock constituted as a DD sized bra
  5. You still need cash in the event of a loss
  6. A Trading Halt will really ruin day, as the settlement date will not change
  7. Not paying your debts will lead to $100 charge, your accounts being suspended, your shares being sold, interest on the outstanding amount calculated daily and Tom coming over and fucking you, your wife and your wife's boyfriend.
All in all, I'm just an epic retard so take this shit with a grain of salt, this does not constitute as financial advice and anyone thinking this is financial advice should drink some Aldi lighter fluid tier Whiskey and take a long hard look at themselves in the mirror, the only reason I took the time in writing this was the number of questions asked about T+2 trading, if you have questions I'd suggest directing them to a financial professional. But to conclude, leave T+2 trading to someone who knows what they're doing, I'm just some Space cowboy out here for a ride.
submitted by Epicliberalman69 to ASX_Bets [link] [comments]

2020.09.05 23:36 Seantae2425 Shantae: A New Genie Chapter 3

Chapter 2 : https://www.reddit.com/ShantaeCustoms/comments/ijgpbm/shantae_a_new_genie_chapter_2/
A young man of nineteen years old attended his daily training. He had navy blue hair, a yellow headband, and wore a determined expression on his face. A white bandage was wrapped around his right upper arm. He wore a white tank top underneath a short blue vest and had dark blue shorts. He also wore tan gloves with metal rings around the cuffs. The gazebo he stood in was covered with numerous obstacles in front of his path.
He had installed various booby traps to test himself. Every other day, he would test himself to maintain his stamina. He planted his feet into the ground before dashing towards the danger. He carefully sidestepped various traps he had set up, including wires that could potentially trip. He leaped over wooden fences implanted in the ground and rolled under a sign that hung in the air. As he ran, something caught his eye. An absolutely gorgeous woman many years older than him was standing in front of his door. She resembled a pirate and carried herself with a confident demeanor. Bolo’s heart excitedly bounced around inside his chest as he became oblivious to his surroundings. She’s... beautiful… he thought as his jaw dropped in awe of her appearance. His face slammed into another sign he had put up, causing the sound to vibrate across the gazebo.
The woman blinked in surprise. Are the people guarding these stones that dumb? she wondered.
The young man appears to be in love, the voice observed with a snicker.
What’s so funny? Risky demanded.
Given your... The voice paused a moment to hold back a chuckle. ...wonderful personality, I doubted you could attract any man.
Whatever, Risky scoffed as she watched Bolo slowly pick himself up. He looks a bit older than that runt.
I know this might be hard for you, but try being nice to him, the voice suggested with a cackle. He might give us what we want if you do.
I can be nice, Risky thought angrily. Like you’re good at doing that.
I’m nice to people who return the favor, the voice replied. Respect is earned, and it takes a lot to earn mine.
No kidding, Risky replied. “You okay?” Risky asked, attempting to sound sincere.
Bolo rubbed his aching cranium. His vision was still blurry, but he could still see the woman in front of him. Her face was the most alluring aspect about, her understanding expression commanding a form of respect in his mind. “So what’s your name?” he asked eagerly.
“Rachel,” Risky answered, thinking on the fly. “I... wanted to see you,” she said with a caring voice, despite her struggling to pull off this performance. She had hidden her identity several times before, but this time felt the most humiliating. “I... wanted to ask you out.”
Bolo’s eyes bounced open in shock. “You want to... go out with me?” he asked, his jaw dropping in surprise.
Risky nodded. “Is something wrong?” she asked, noticing Bolo’s sudden nervousness.
“I’m just... surprised,” he admitted as he took a step closer. Her aura made him feel warm inside. “Most women just ignore me or they slap me,” Bolo said with an awkward chuckle. “You’re the only one who wants to go out with me...”
“Yeah,” Risky murmured, feeling a ping of guilt cloud her brain. “Maybe you can get me something before that point,” she suggested.
Bolo nodded eagerly. “Whatever you want,” he stated.
“Have you ever heard of this artifact called the Dribble Stone?” she asked, making his body go cold.
She... knows about that? Bolo asked worriedly. Is she the one Mimic told me about? Risky Boots? He took a deep breath and weighed his options. What if she’s just an artifact collector? Or what if she’s lying? Bolo closed his eyes as he turned around, confusing Risky. If she’s lying, then I don’t have a date, either. But I can’t put everyone in danger... He turned around and looked back at her. She was still beautiful, yet the once bright aura she radiated had dissipated. Now he could see more clearly.
“You’re lying, aren’t you?” he asked weakly, trying not to look her in the eye.
Risky blinked in surprise. He figured it out?
I’ll take care of it, the voice assured her.
Bolo briefly looked up and noticed something off about her chest. It appeared as though she was wearing parts of an actual skeleton for a bra. He hadn’t noticed it before, which he assumed was due to his infatuation. He took a step back in confusion. Is that... real? he wondered.
It is, the voice spoke to him.
Who’s there? Bolo asked worriedly, looking around constantly to find where the voice was coming from. Risky watched, baffled by how Bolo seemed to be panicking over nothing.
You and the rest of the traitors will find out soon enough, the voice replied.
Traitor? I don’t even you.
But I know what you’ve done, the voice retorted, sending a chill down his spine.
“Get out of my head!” Bolo snapped, grabbing onto his aching cranium.
Risky winced as she watched Bolo squirm.
The world around Bolo became dark and gruesome. Risky was no longer there. Instead, he was standing inside a cemetery. Unmarked gravestones surrounded him. Where am I? he wondered as he walked around. He stopped walking when he saw the only gravestone marked with a name: his own. A rectangular hole was still there, meaning the casket had not been buried yet. What’s... going on? he asked worriedly.
Young man, the voice spoke to him as black appendages lunged from the hole and wrapped around his arms and legs.
“Let me go!” Bolo screamed as the tentacles began dragging him closer to the grave. He planted his feet into the ground, but that barely slowed the appendages down. You will give me the stone. You will crawl back into whatever hole you came from. The appendages tightened their grip on his arms and legs, cutting off their blood circulation. If you don’t, I will break every bone in your body.
With a single snap, the bones inside his left arm fractured. He attempted to scream, only for another tentacle to wrap itself around his mouth, silencing his cries for help. With another snap, his right arm’s bones split in half as tears dripped from his eyes. The grave sucked him in, throwing him against the floor of the ground. You will live just long enough to see the grave you will be buried in, the voice continued. Nobody will remember you. Certainly not your friends, which I doubt you even have. Bolo looked up to see a casket floating above him. Without any warning, the casket dropped onto him, crushing him instantly. All because you made the mistake of siding with those control freaks.
Risky blinked as she watched Bolo crying, having curled into a ball. “I’ll tell you where it is!” he shouted, his body shaking nonstop. I don’t want to die. I don’t want to be forgotten about.
You will be, the voice told him, making him sob even more.
What did you do to him? Risky asked the voice.
What was necessary. The strongest in this world are prepared to do what the weak cannot.
“It’s in Dribble Fountain!” Bolo shouted. “You probably passed by it already!”
And what about the key? the voice asked him.
“Here!” Bolo shouted, pulling out a tiny, spiked ball from his pocket. He held it up to Risky, who plucked it out of his hands.
There was a key? Risky asked.
Every dungeon with the stone has one, the voice explained. How else do you open a locked door?
You knew? Why didn’t you say anything or use your magic?
My magic is unstable in this dimension without me truly being here, the voice stated. There’s no telling what could happen if I tried to pull off such a feat. The magic from when I was once here is still active, however.
Fantastic, Risky murmured sarcastically. So why didn’t you mention the key?
I have all the time in the world, the voice replied nonchalantly. And I like to enjoy the ride. I must say though, your acting needs work.
Risky grumbled as she stomped her way out of the gazebo, leaving Bolo to his demons.

“Bolo!” a voice shouted, snapping Bolo out of his trance. The world around him had returned to normal, his broken bones had healed, and the demonic Risky he saw when he handed over the key was no longer there. Instead, he saw a concerned Shantae looking down at him. “What happened?” she asked, helping Bolo up. “How long has it been?”
“I’ve been trying to wake you up for half an hour,” the worried voice stated.
Bolo’s body twitched as she struggled to look Shantae in the eyes. “Shantae? What are you doing here?” he asked weakly.
“Mimic told me what’s going on,” Shantae said quickly. “Did you tell Risky where the stone is?” Bolo hung his head in shame as he looked away. “Bolo, please tell me you didn’t give away the location!”
“I’m sorry...”
“Bolo, what did she say that made you give up the location?” Shantae demanded frantically.
“It wasn’t her. It was... something else,” he muttered, still hearing the echo of the bones shattering in his head. “He trapped me in a grave and said it was because I sided with control freaks...”
“That voice...” Shantae murmured, recognizing the words as a chill went up her spine. “I don't know what it is, but I think it might have a hold on Risky somehow. It was making her hit herself earlier,” she recounted, remembering that Risky had pounded her fist into her skull while screaming at an invisible voice.
“So she might actually love me?” Bolo blurted out, making Shantae pause in disbelief.
“...What?” Shantae asked, barely comprehended she had just heard. Did he get hit on the head or something? she wondered.
“She said she wanted to go out with me...”
“Bolo, seriously?” Shantae asked, flabbergasted by what she was hearing.
“She’s the only woman who wanted to go out with me,” Bolo murmured, turning around so that his back faced Shantae. “Maybe... just maybe... she really does. I think that skull she’s wearing is controlling her.”
“Bolo...” Shantae whispered, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. “I don’t think she was being forced to say anything. She was just lying to you.” Shantae herself doubted that Risky’s supposed love of Bolo was actually genuine. From what she could recall, the skull never forced her to speak, only that it infuriated the pirate into hitting herself.
Bolo sighed. “It’s fine. I guess I should be used to it at this point...”
“You’ll find somebody, I know it,” Shantae assured him as she patted him on the back, placing a small smile onto his lips. “Maybe just find somebody less... nutty.”
“Good advice,” Bolo conceded.
“Now, where’s the stone?” Shantae asked.
“Dribble Fountain. It’s between here and Scuttle Town,” he stated.
“You’re saying I passed it?” Shantae asked incredulously. She had run far and wide, passing through a field, a forest, and a lake. She considered herself fortunate she did not run into any potential enemies at the time, having dashed faster than she ever did before.
“Yeah, it’s right after Spider Forest,” Bolo explained.
Shantae closed her eyes, trying to imagine what he was talking about. She remembered she had seen large spiders hanging in the trees of the eponymous forest. She had moved quickly for any of them to have attacked her, however. She faintly remembered a stone column she had passed by along the way. The column had been spewing out water nonstop. She could only assume that that was what Bolo was talking about. “Did it look like a big water fountain?” Shantae quickly asked.
Bolo nodded. “Yep. You can’t miss it,” he stated, which got him a glare sent in his direction from the half-Genie. “Or maybe you can.”
Shantae looked around and noticed the various traps and obstacle courses put in place around her. She had been so busy she had not even noticed them. “Training, huh?” she observed.
“Gotta stay in shape somehow,” Bolo admitted as he scratched his head nervously.
“Take care, Bolo,” she said, waving to him as she turned around. “Ah!” she shrieked, tripping and slamming into the ground. “Ow,” she murmured, picking herself up. She looked behind her and noticed a small tripwire had been put in place, making her grumble. Of course...

“So this is it, huh?” Risky observed, watching the fountain’s endless supply of water flow downward. She pulled out the spike ball and aimed it at the hole ingrained in the stone column. With a single toss, the ball locked itself into the hole above the water.
Now if only you could pay attention as well as aim, the voice snarked, making Risky groan. This place truly feels like home to me, the voice continued. Then again, I built this dungeon.
Makes you wonder why they’d put the stone in here then, Risky replied.
The power of suggestion is an incredible ability, is it not? the voice replied. I can’t use it as well as I used to, but it still gets the job done.
Yeah, bossing people around is your speciality, Risky snarked as she walked inside. From there, she saw walls made of black bricks surrounding her as well as wet floors with dripping ceilings. You don’t take care of things, do you?
I take care of you, the voice retorted.
Hardly. Risky noticed a cage on her right, containing a sleeping woman in her early twenties. She blinked in disbelief. You keep people down here?
My magic ensures she has the necessary nutrients.
How long has she been here?
Not sure. If memory serves, she was a child when she was first locked in here, the voice assumed, making Risky blink in surprise. Relax. The magic I created for her cage kept her asleep this entire time. I installed numerous measures to keep her safe. She is a half-Genie like that purple-haired nuisance.
Two half-Genies in one day. And yet they can’t add up to a full one, Risky thought mockingly as she chuckled out loud.
Your sense of wit is truly staggering, the voice mocked her, making her fume. As I was saying, their powers aren’t as strong as their parents, but it’s good enough. For me, anyway.
Wanting to add this one’s powers to your collection? Risky assumed.
When I am free, then yes. For now, her power grows. It’s the strongest magic I’ve seen since the original Genies were around.
Won’t she have the vocabulary of a child when she wakes up? Risky asked.
No, I’ve been educating her while she slumbers. Her dreams are still mine to command.
What, did you teach her how to spell her name? Risky snarked.
More than that. I taught her about the Genies’ true history. She will know what side to join when she awakes.
I’m surprised you didn’t keep her awake during this, Risky thought, crossing her arms as she studied the sleeping body. The woman was at least a few years older than Shantae, but she could only wonder how much stronger that would make the woman when she woke up.
What’s the point in torturing a child? the voice replied. She hasn’t done anything wrong... yet. Not to mention, a Genie’s magic grows stronger when they sleep.
The redheaded woman in the cage wore a torn brown shirt and ripped shorts of the same color. The cage she sat in had bars made of electricity that kept her from reaching out. “Where am I?” she asked, rubbing her head. She looked down at her body, seeing how much it had matured in the time she was asleep. How long has it been? she thought, horrified. She looked over to see Risky looking at her with confused eyes. “You,” she murmured, jumping to her feet. “What did you do to my parents?” she snapped, recognizing the woman. A sudden thought popped into her brain. “No, no, no,” she murmured, holding onto her aching cranium. It was as though a bomb of knowledge had exploded inside her brain and she couldn’t handle it all at once. She saw flashes of her mother, her father, as well as corpses of Genies scattered across a realm of magic that had been set on fire.
Perhaps I gave her too much knowledge, the voice observed. No matter. Where I have given, I can also take away.
The woman’s head stopped throbbing as the information drained from her brain. The monster was gone from her thoughts, but she could no longer see her parents, either. All that remained was a faint trace of their faces. Where did they go? And what did the Genies do? she wondered, recalling vaguely that she had been told of the Genies’ greatest atrocities.
There. She should have lost any unnecessary knowledge while keeping the essential information, the voice stated to Risky. I’m a bit out of practice since I can only use that kind of magic on people from before, well, you know. It’s anybody's guess what she remembers beyond the basics. She doesn't remember you now, though.
The woman grabbed onto the bars, but her body was lit up with electricity. She shrieked as the electricity ruptured her body, forcing her to let go of the bars. Her messy red hair was now fritzy from the electricity, making her pat the hair down to normal, reaching down to her feet. “Tell me what you did to my parents, or I’ll-”
It's so good to see you again, the voice stated to the woman, startling her. My, how you've grown. I'm afraid that cage neutralizes your powers. I can fix that in a little bit.
“I don’t know who that voice is, but I know you’re behind this,” the woman stated, locking eyes with Risky.
Hardly, the voice spoke to Risky while making sure the woman did not hear. The voice chuckled, echoing loudly across the dungeon, however, only Risky could hear the voice. The laughter only ceased when Risky had finally become unsettled by the sound of the voice. The voice returned to its conversation with the woman. I love reunions, don’t you Harmony?
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2020.09.04 12:25 2d4d_data Transitioning when married

I was married when I transitioned and my wife was the very first person I came out to. At the time I didn't see much advice, but I did see a lot of divorce stories. I made a lot of mistakes in the early part of my transition and have tried to document some of them so hopefully, you can learn and do better than I did.

The common story

Below is a common story that I see over and over. It is up to you to try to have something better.
You put together the pieces, you think you want to transition and do everything.
Your wife doesn't want you to do anything. Going on hormones, FFS, SRS, and more are an absolute no. It is not a discussion or debate, it is a no. You go to a therapist to make sure, but they don't join you or go to their own. They pretend nothing will change. Some more hard conversation with your wife you start hormones to see how it goes. It is the best day of your life and they are crushed. They try to stop every tiny thing, not by having a conversation or divorcing, but just by saying no. It's not when, but no, not now. Every change small and big hurts them. They mostly pretend it isn't happening. HRT does its magic and eventually, you are socially transitioning even if you are not ready. You might have prepared because you knew this would happen, but your wife didn't prepare and is overwhelmed, but helps you figure out socially transitioning. Repeat this for each thing with you preparing and them reacting until you either get divorced, start communicating, or both.


I have worn girls/women clothes since I was a kid, as a teenager my wife (then girlfriend) helped me buy my first bra. The majority of the time she has known me I have had long hair. Shortly after we were married she asked me if I wanted to be a woman. All of these things happened and many more and yet the reality of actually transitioning hit her hard. Transition is completely different than any sort of cross-dressing or being very feminine. Just because she was okay with something in the past does not mean she will be okay with transitioning. As with every coming out assuming or expecting a result will only cause pain.


You will break their trust. There is no way around that.


Encouraging her to go and talk with a therapist is not only one of the best things you can do it is something you should do period because you care about them. You may or may not transition, but the fact that you are transgender is something they need to not bury and need to talk through. Bottling that up won't do anyone any good. If you do transition there will be many things that come up that she might want to talk through with a therapist before with you. Above all this helps her feel like she is not completely alone. Her mental help is very important and during this time it will be strained and expecting her to go it alone is mean.
And to be clear, separately the two of you can try to go to couples therapy (also really good!), but that is not what this is. Her going to therapy isn't about convincing her, or changing her, or you. It is about helping and supporting her through this.


You can tell them about mypartneristrans, but if you love them, don't subscribe, never post anything, and never comment there. Ever. Serious. Do you want to give them a safe space? A place they can yell at you because this journey is hard for them? Don't you dare go poking in there. I looked around a little bit early on and the number of MtF who would put in their two cents and comment when it wasn't wanted or needed was just insane. They need some moderators to ban them to help make it more of a safe space. Seriously, don't subscribe, you will just be tempted to comment, which is the worst thing you could do.

Life, Family, and future

Note: This next entire section is all from the lens of heteronormativity. I don't know of any situation is as black and white, but it is easiest to explain this way. The important bit is to put yourself in her shoes and see how she sees you and her family today and how change can undermine that and what many of her first thoughts might be. Ultimately use this to think about what you can do to step up to be there for her and your family through this.
Your wife is married. She has a family. Her entire upbringing has given her various expectations about how this can go and taught her to prepare for it. So many girls have a life plan when they are young: high school, college, dating, engagement, marriage, house, cat/dog, baby. They know how many kids they want and their names before they are teenagers. High level details like your work and provide for the family. She stays home and raises the kids. You are the leader. You are friends with other couples and then wives and husbands each hang out together and support each other.


There is a non-zero chance you will lose your job. She might have to go work to support the family. Maybe that is never something she expected to have to do and could resent even the idea.


Transition and coming out is a public thing and changes how others see your family. Will other people see her as a lesbian? Will her family, friends, church all disown her because of what you are doing? How will random strangers react when they see you two out and about?


It doesn’t matter how liberal your town is and how much other people don’t care, it is a life altering change in how others perceive her and her family. That means your support network will diminish and for her, that means her family's support network will also diminish. Her family will be seen as less than everyone else, maybe even failed.


You might be a child free couple. You might be too old to have more kids. You might be done having kids. You might be on the verge of divorce and having kids in the future was never even on the table. But none of that matters as she might feel it was always an "option" for her and now you are taking that away.
It also doesn't matter if there are success stories about going off HRT, going on Clomid, and having everything work again after a few months (no guarantee of course). That again is not the point. This will further come up if you get an Orchiectomy by itself or with SRS.
And if she actually wanted more kids then this is a big issue. Besides what she wants, women get a ton of pressure to have kids. From society, from their friends, from their family. Being married it is expected that she will have kids. Taking this away is huge.
A gut reaction might be that her family "story" is effectively over.
Related: How might she feel if you want your kids to call you mom?

Wife societal roles

After getting married we fell into the many roles that the husband and wife do. We were not a 1950's family or anything, but when I expressed interest in learning how to cook, it was seen as taking away something from her because that was one of the things she did.
Be aware that as you toss away assumed gender roles and explore activities you might not have before that she might see it as an affront on what she does.


They will be worried about your family's safety and financial security being now at risk. If you have kids what will the kids say, what will the kid's friend say, what about the school? What about her parents? What about your parents? Are any of them going to try to take her kids from her because of you? There is a lot to worry and be anxious about.


Maybe she likes being submissive in the bedroom. Being the one desired and the sexy one. Being the one thrown on the bed. Getting fucked with a dick. Is all of that going away? Are you going to want to be submissive? And you are going to have breasts! In her mind, they are going to be huge and she doesn't know if that will be okay with her. And if she is okay with it... what does that say about herself?
What if your sexuality changes? What if you want to be with men and not her? That is a whole other thing.

Loss of a spouse

A worry can be that rather than being the "man of the house" or a partner you will turn into a roommate at best and a burden at worst. You will lose all of the stuff she knows and counts on you for being "the man", but can't imaging gaining anything and through your transition she will have to support you rather than you supporting the family.

Supporting your family

You can't promise anything, all you can do is show. Support her and your family in ways you never did before. Make your job more secure. Make your finances secure. Take on every small and little task before even being asked.
Do you want to be her wife? Not the fairy tale wedding gown stuff. The everyday grind. Helping with the kids and not the fun stuff such as playing, but constantly picking up after them and getting them to bed. The never ending laundry and dishes? All of that and more, never once with the expectation of a thank you. Taking out the trash, waking up with the kids when they get up early, taking them to doctor appointments, buying her sister a birthday gift, and so much more.
And with your transition having a real honest talk about children and what you both want and how to fit that into your transition. Do you want more kids? Will you go off HRT to make that happen?
And externally. Will you work with her to minimize the awkward period and social repercussions even if that means you could be in the closet for another 12 or 18 months after starting HRT?
Be a better wife than you were a husband.

Her sexuality

You need to accept that she might only be attracted to individuals that look “male”. Even if you two remain friends and she might love you she might not at all be attracted to you if you stop looking “male”. You need to make sure she knows that it is okay for her to say she is not attracted to how you turn out and for you to split amicably. In the same way that you don't want others to tell you what your gender is, don't tell your wife what her sexuality is.

No absolutes

Don't say you will only do X and then later realize you want to do X+1. Even if you are sure that you only want to do X. Transitioning is a journey and the further you go on it the more time you have to learn about yourself and what is the right thing for you. Ambiguity is not at all what your wife wants to hear, they might even demand absolutes, but having to take back things you said is much much worse. You will feel bad and further breaking their trust.

This doesn't have to be a today, right now thing

Transitioning is a long multi-year journey with many steps on the way. You don’t have to socially transition this very moment. Telling her you want her to be on this journey where you figure it out together might be helpful. We didn’t tell my parents until almost a year on HRT (they had no clue) and didn’t socially transition full time at work until a few months later, but I could have easily pushed that forward (at least up until FFS happened). There was around a year and a half between when I first came out to my wife and when I socially transitioned. There are many steps along the way and many decisions don't have to be made right now. It is okay for your wife to hold back and just see how things go at first before deciding if they still want to be married to you. Both you and her need to know this.

This doesn’t go away.

You might be tempted to put the cork back in the bottle because they say so, demand so, or threaten you. It will probably come back in a few years. They need to know that the desire to transition isn't going away especially now that you know what is possible.
Plenty of couples have had compromises in one way or another such as getting divorced the day after SRS, but until that day being there for each other.


Before starting HRT I was suicidal. Every single day I needed to take a step in the direction of my transition. Getting on HRT at a correct dose was the most important thing for my sanity and continued living. Hormones first and foremost were about my mental well being.
I was beyond scared, terrified more like it to tell this to my wife and I regret not opening up to let her know that I felt this way until more than a year later. This caused a lot of strife as the hormone dose I felt was seen as something she could control, a proxy for the rest of my transition when it wasn't.
If I could go back and do anything differently it would have been to express that to my wife and let her know that I can push back socially transitioning, take things slower and so many other things, but being on the correct hormone dose is a medical thing and gave me a reason to live the next day.
If there is something you are suicidal about make sure you convey what is non negotiable.

post-transition sex

If you still have sex, it will probably be different. Your sex drive will change. How your body responds will change. Throwing away the old script and finding a new script that you both like will also probably happen. This will be a change for both of you. Communication is absolutely the key here. Even if you are okay with using your current equipment now, don't assume you will later.
Sex for two women is very different and given how little attention men give their wives will probably be more fun for her. Communicate and be willing to try things together. I want to write about how different and how much better our sex is, but honestly, this post Our sex life is shockingly SO MUCH BETTER afteduring her transition! is a way better worded version of this and you want to read it from the partners perspective, not mine.

Read in their own words

What I have written here is mostly from my perspective with some knowledge gained in hindsight. All I can do it try to help you not make the same mistakes I did. But I am not my spouse and can never truly know what being on the other side feels like.
I highly recommend you seek out posts by wives that describe in their own words what it felt like for them. Here is one very well written one that I suggest you read next: A Partner's Perspective.

Post series

This is one entry in a series of posts drawn out of notes and journal entries. A link to all of the posts can be found in my transition journey.
submitted by 2d4d_data to TransLater [link] [comments]

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2020.09.03 11:47 pregnology Why Tank Tops Are a MUST HAVE - Even During Winter

Why Tank Tops Are a MUST HAVE - Even During Winter

Fall is right around the corner which has most women rejoicing. Can we get a resounding HELL YEAH! for boots, scarves, sweaters, and pumpkin-spice lattes?
But just because the seasons are changing and the weather is starting to get cooler doesn’t mean you have to forgo your tank-tops - particularly if you are an expecting mother. In fact, the perfect maternity tank-top is the perfect clothing accessory for fall and winter, and here are the reasons why.

Why Maternity Tank Tops Are A MUST-HAVE

Anyone who has ever been pregnant or currently is pregnant is familiar with the hot-flashes we are subjected to. One minute we’re freezing; the next minute we’re sweating like a convent in an interrogation room. It just seems impossible to get to a comfortable temperature.
Layering your wardrobe with tank-tops is a great way to quickly cool-off when you feel those hormonal hot-flashes coming on. Paired with a cute cardigan or jean jacket, you can stay warm when it’s a particularly brisk day, but have the ability to shed your top layer when you start getting hot.
Plus (let’s be honest) pregnant women are more likely to sweat than we normally would, and tank-tops provide that circulation and ventilation to avoid what we lovingly refer to as “swamp pits”.
However, not all maternity tank-tops are created equal which is why Pregnology created our line of maternity tank tops specifically designed for every changing body part, temperature, and hormone. Here are the main reasons our pregnancy tank tops are held to the highest standard.


These lightweight, pregnancy, sleeveless shirts feature a side ruched waist and scoop neckline. The seamless and strategic ruching along the sides flatters your curves and grows with you until delivery day. Dress up or dress down. Wear them under a blazer to the office or to your maternity yoga class. These tank tops are incredibly versatile and will make you feel comfortable while showing off a smooth, lifted, and supported belly.


Pregnology’s tank tops provide extra support with their built-in, wire-free, shaping, shelf bra padding. You can ditch the uncomfortable maternity bras and sports bras! Wear this tank while using nursing pads and enjoy your day with dry, snug comfort and no straps digging into your skin or wires poking at your chest.


Our pregnancy tanks are designed with a lightweight, stretchy, soft, and breathable nylon/spandex blend. The beautiful maternity tank-top contours to your body, highlighting your beautiful curves while concealing the not-so-flattering parts. Each shirt is comprised of high-quality material that won’t lose it’s form or stretchability, wash-after-wash, wear-after-wear. Cotton-like, curve-hugging knit provides a no-cling, smooth, and secure fit.


We all have our staple outfits that are our go-to’s. Usually, for pregnant women, those tend to include comfortable leggings and hoodies. But what every expecting mother really needs is the perfect tank-top that she can match with just about anything. Whether running errands, going to pilates, going to the office, or maybe enjoying a rare date night out when you and the hubby can get away - a pregnology tank top is the perfect item to dress up or dress down. Check out Pregnology’s line of adorable and affordable tank-tops here.
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2020.08.31 16:25 5midge I am 28 years old, live in a medium sized city in Ontario, Canada and am on Maternity Leave (living on $3K/month)

My last Money Diary is here: https://www.reddit.com/MoneyDiariesACTIVE/comments/g2o9tb/i_am_27_years_old_make_75k_typically_live_in_a/
Assets and Debts
Retirement Balance: I have combined TFSAs and RRSPs in an investment fund that is managed for me by a private company. As of this writing my balance is $99,428. Thankfully my investments have recovered post-COVID. I pay into 2 pensions which I don’t expect to fall back on for my retirement (I will likely be leaving these jobs in the near future).
Savings account balance: $17,748.75 (this is my fully funded emergency fund which covers 12 months of necessary expenses).
“Fun” fund: $6,407.19 saved for vacations, rainy days, or more frivolous purchases
Emergency pet and car fund: $1000
Checking account balance: $9,424.59. I keep my balance high enough to avoid the monthly fee.
Other savings: My husband and I have several savings/sinking funds, namely, ~$43K saved for our future home (we will be building in the next 18 months), and ~$1500 saved for baby costs. I also have a Sinking Fund for gifts (balance is ~$550 currently) and a fund for several expensive yearly costs (life insurance payments, professional fees, etc; the balance is ~$2260).
Credit card debt: $0 (I pay off my balances on two cards monthly)
Student loan debt (Bachelor and Masters of Nursing Science): $0. I’m very fortunate that my undergrad was partially financed by scholarships, my parents, grandmother, and my own savings. I worked part-time all through my undergrad to pay for living expenses, and I received a small allowance from my mother. I worked full-time all through my Masters degree and graduated debt-free (I did get some government grants and scholarships).
Car debt: We just paid off our car a few months ago! $0
Total Net Worth: $142,493.00
Monthly Take Home: Typically my husband and I keep our incomes separate as we make similar amounts. Since I am on leave for a year, we decided to “pay each other” half of what we bring in. Half of my husband’s take home pay is $1830. I get about $2000 monthly (making my half about $1000) from the government as my maternity leave pay (this will decrease in the coming months. I might also be getting some extra pay from my employer but I have to wait and see).
Canada Child Benefit: We qualify to receive $212 from the government on a monthly basis. We have this money earmarked for baby-related expenses, and the rest will go into our Baby Sinking Fund.
Total Income: $2936
Rent: $577/month for my share of a two bedroom apartment. I live with my husband, son, and our dog.
Renter’s insurance: bundled with our car insurance (see below).
Retirement contribution: paused for now while on mat leave.
Savings contribution: mostly paused for now while on leave. I do contribute my “left over” money that I have budgeted but don’t spend to various sinking funds (eg. I budget $50/month in pet costs, but I transfer it to savings if I don’t spend that full amount).
Debt payments: $0
Donations: this varies. I save $150 per month for “gifts” so that I don’t get stressed around the holidays and have money put aside for birthdays, etc. I donate whatever I have left over (last year it was $500 to various charities).
Utilities: $120 (split with husband). We only pay electricity, so it’s been more expensive in the summer when we are running fans/AC.
Wifi: my half is 36.73
Cellphone: $50.85
Subscriptions: $5 Spotify (I still have a student rate), Amazon Prime Student ($44 yearly), $11.70 for Crave TV (I will be cancelling when I’m done The Handmaid’s Tale), $50 annual Aaptiv membership (I don’t plan to renew this either)
Gym membership: I’m pausing my gym membership indefinitely. I pay $96.05/month for unlimited yoga which includes live online classes.
Pet expenses: I budget $50/month on for food, vet expenses, etc (also split with my husband). What I don’t spend gets put in a sinking fund.
Car payment / insurance: the car is paid off, but we pay $66.96 each for insurance (bundled with renter’s insurance).
2:30am- I’m up to feed baby. We welcomed our son into the world 3 weeks ago and we are doing just one feed at night usually. I scroll Instagram while he eats, then I change his diaper, and settle him back to bed around 3:15.
6:00am- He’s up earlier than I was expecting. Same routine, except it takes him a bit longer to settle this time. He’s back to sleep by 7am, which provides me the perfect opportunity to do a virtual yoga class (my first since giving birth). I have a quick breakfast and go for a walk with my mom and the baby. I get some mom juice/coffee ($4.75) at a local cafe that has a takeout window. He screams the whole time so we cut it short. By 9am, he’s ready to feed again.
10:00am- I have an appointment to see the chiropractor as I injured my tailbone in labour. My mom watches the baby while I’m out. I have insurance so I’ll be reimbursed most of the cost of the appointment (my cost is $5). While I am on the other end of town, I pop into Old Navy to do a return (someone gave us some newborn clothing which he never got a chance to wear), Home Sense to look for some throw pillows for our couch to make breastfeeding more comfortable (no luck), and I stop by my friend’s to return a bell jar (I return it full of vegan sweet potato brownies). I’m back home for baby’s next feed.
12:00pm- My mom packs up her things and gets ready to go home for a few days (she’s stayed with us since baby arrived to help out. I seriously don’t know what we would have done without her). We say a tearful goodbye and I put the baby in the wrap to cook some lunch. I spend the rest of the afternoon feeding baby and trying to get him to sleep. He fights it hard. Once my husband gets off work (from home) I steal a 20 minute nap.
6:00pm- After feeding the baby again, we tag team making dinner. We eat in shifts as baby fusses. He eventually settles and we relax in front of the television (I’m currently watching Modern Family). The rest of the evening is spent feeding and settling baby. We head to bed at 10:30.
1:30 and 5:00am- Up to feed. I fight to stay awake.
7:00am- Baby starts to stir, so I pop his binky back in his mouth and grab a shower and a quick breakfast. Baby isn’t awake yet so I cuddle the dog in bed and read a chapter of my book (American Dirt- it’s fantastic). Around 8:15 the baby starts waking up again, so I change and feed him. We get out for an hour-long walk with the dog around 9:30.
11:00am- It’s been three hours and baby should be ready to feed soon, but he’s sleeping so I let him nap a while longer since he hasn’t been sleeping well during the day. He decides he is hungry when I’m about halfway through my lunch so I pause to feed him. I try to get a few things done but he’s inconsolable once I put him down, so I put him down beside me on the couch and hope he sleeps for a bit. Since I’m stuck on the couch with him, I browse Old Navy’s website for some fall clothing for him (I have a few coupons) and watch a few episodes of Modern Family.
4:00pm- The rest of the day is a blur of feeding and consoling baby. When my husband gets off work, he takes over baby duties while I get a 30 minute yoga break. Around 6pm we put together a simple dinner (homemade falafel balls from the freezer, hummus, pita bread, and salad). We hang out on the couch with the television on most of the evening. I pass out around 10pm for a short power nap, feed the baby one more time, then am off to bed.
2:30am and 6:00am- Up to feed baby. Both times require an outfit change (not sure if it’s pee or breastmilk… somehow it doesn’t matter).
7:15am- I forgot to turn off my alarm so I am up earlier than I would have liked. I have a quick shower and eat breakfast while half-watching a Youtube video and jotting down some thoughts in my journal. I also throw in a load of laundry (we have a coin machine in our building and pay $2 for a wash and $1.50 for a dry).
9:00am- Time to feed the baby again. My husband gets him changed and dressed while I switch over the laundry. It takes an hour to get dressed and eat a piece of toast as a second breakfast. I head out for a walk with the dog and the baby around 10am.
11:00am- I accomplish a few household tasks while the baby continues to sleep: tidy clutter, fold and put away laundry, refill the bathroom hand soap. While the baby is sleeping I bake a batch of muffins and granola (win!)
1:30pm- After eating a quick lunch and feeding the baby, I am out to door to an appointment with him. We run a couple of errands along the way: a return at the GAP, the pharmacy for diapers ($24. We will be switching to cloth when he hits 10 pounds), tea ($3), and a bottle of sparkling water ($2), and the dollar store for a few greeting cards ($5.65). We get to the appointment on time and it was not fun (he had his tongue tie released to help with making feeding less painful).
5:00pm- The afternoon is a blur (are you sensing a theme here?). I feed the baby and my husband puts the finishing touches on dinner. The baby has a solid 3 hour nap so we are able to eat without soothing him and we even watch a Netflix show (a horribly depressing Planet Earth-esque documentary about climate change; bad choice). The rest of the evening is spent feeding the baby and trying to stay awake. We head to bed around 10:30
3:00 and 6:00am- Up to feed the baby. I sleep for another 45 minutes after the 6am feed, and am up at 8:15 to shower and eat breakfast quickly. I feed the baby around 9am, at which time the husband finally gets up. I’ll be completely honest in saying that aside from learning to cope with less sleep, the changes to our relationship as new parents has been the most difficult. I need to make an appointment with my therapist to process some of my feelings and misdirected resentment.
9:45am- I get out for a short walk with the dog and baby. We stop for an iced coffee and I grab a bag of coffee beans (my half is $11.50). The dog gets a treat and she is ecstatic.
11:20am- I successfully get the baby down for a nap in his bassinet which means I don’t have to supervise him as closely when he sleeps. I get a few things done around the house and eat lunch (with both of my hands!).
1:00pm- Baby feeds again. We have some awake time then I settle him down for a nap with moderate success. I also try to nap but can’t fall asleep. In between settling him, I do some online window-shopping for leakproof underwear and a few photo frames.
4:00pm- Baby is up to feed and my husband gets done work. I hand the baby off to eat an early dinner of leftovers. We are still quite hungry and nothing in my fridge is speaking to me, so we decide to go for a long walk and get some takeout. I get two vegan tofu bao buns that cost me $13.56 and they are worth every penny. We get home in time to feed the baby again, then we give him a bath (he loves bath time; it’s adorable). My mom arrives back to stay for a few days, we say hello and goodnight and head to bed around 10:45.
3:30am- Up to feed. He settles quickly.
6:30am- The baby starts stirring and we finally get up to eat at 7am. My mom holds the baby while I shower and eat, then we go for a walk and I get a coffee ($4.75). We feed a little bit early because the baby is crying and seems hungry.
11:00 am- I feed the baby again because I have an appointment at the physiotherapist to help with my tailbone and assess me for diastasis recti. She really helps with my pain and gives me some stretches to do. After insurance reimbursement, I pay $12.50. It’s my mom’s birthday this weekend and I want to bake her a cake, so I stop at Michaels for a few supplies and a frame for her gift ($42). I also buy a hand mixer at Bed Bath and Beyond (I’ve lived away from home for almost 11 years and have never invested in one). It costs $56. When I get back home, I feed the baby and also feed myself a half a bagel with avocado. Later, I place a grocery order for pickup ($74, which I put on our shared credit card). Our grocery costs have been low this month because people have been so generous in dropping off food!
6:00 pm- The baby is due for a nap, but my husband is not listening when I ask him to settle the baby down in his bassinet. Tension has been building for days between my husband and I, and this is the last straw. I go for a walk around the block to cool off, and clear my head enough to have a somewhat productive discussion. I email my therapist to book an appointment.
9:30pm- We hang out on the couch for most of the night. My husband declares he will be taking off tomorrow for several hours to visit his family *internal screaming* I fall asleep on the couch for a short nap before our last feeding of the day, and we are in bed at 10:45.
4:00am- Up to feed. Baby settles quickly.
7:15am- The baby is waking up slowly, so I get up and start our day. It’s my Mom’s birthday today and she opens her present while I feed the baby. My mom takes the baby while I shower and eat breakfast. I wake up the husband at 9am so he can pick up our groceries in time. He leaves to visit his family around 10 and promises to be back by 3pm. It takes everything in me not to roll my eyes.
10:30am- Time to feed the baby again. My mom and I go for a walk with the baby and dog and run a couple of errands. I purchase another nursing bra from a local shop since I am constantly doing laundry and none of my old bras fit ($45). We pick up roti for lunch (my Mom pays) and head home. My tailbone is really sore when we get home, so I relax on the couch and do some of my physio exercises. My mom throws in a load of laundry for us ($3.50)
1:00pm- After a feed, baby goes down quickly for a nap. I start baking a birthday cake for my mom, and tidy up a bit.. I contemplate taking a nap, but opt for a tea instead. I post on Facebook to ask if anyone in the neighbourhood has any fresh flowers they can spare for a cake topper. I run around the corner to pick a few marigolds from a generous neighbour.
6:30pm- We order take out for dinner as a treat (my half is $30 on the shared credit card) and FaceTime family to sing happy birthday to my Mom. After dinner, we rent a movie (Waitress from YouTube) for $4.99. I loved the musical and the movie was great too! After feeding the baby we head to bed at 10:45.
4:00am- The baby wakes up desperate to feed. We are back to sleep by 5.
8:00am- My alarm goes off, and baby is still sleeping. I wake him up and he is hungry immediately. My mom comes over and takes the baby while I eat breakfast. We go for a walk and I get a much needed coffee (I have money loaded on my Starbucks app already).
11:00 am- We get home and my friend stops by to drop off some treats (vegan date squares- yum!) We chat for a bit then say goodbye as I have to feed the baby. While he feeds, I call another friend for a catch up. Baby goes down for another nap and we get some lunch organized.
1:00pm- My tailbone is killing me and I also have a worsening hemorrhoid. Since giving birth I have been less active and consequently less regular. In desperation I run to the pharmacy for Preparation-H, Natural Calm (a laxative), and a bag of chips (just because). The total is $57 on the joint credit card. There was a bonus points day, so I actually get $15 worth of free product on my next purchase. While the baby sleeps, I also get a short nap.
6:00pm- The rest of the day is uneventful. We eat dinner and watch the basketball game. Our last feed is at 10:15pm, then we settle down to sleep.
Food+Drink: $108.06
Fun+Entertainment: $10.64
Home+Health: $147
Clothes+Beauty: $0
Baby: $68
I’m sure this MD wasn’t the most exciting read, but I thought it would be interesting to document going from a pretty comfortable DINK lifestyle to having a baby and being on leave for a year taking in a lot less monthly. A few things stood out to me when reading this back. First, the amount of money a baby costs. I am quite sure that in the coming months things will even out, but the last month has been very expensive despite having been accumulating baby items for several months (new and used). My various therapies for my tailbone issue have also added some costs. Also, breastfeeding is NOT free. It wasn’t as evident this week, but holy heck, I’ve spent a lot of money on various nipple creams and devices to make breastfeeding bearable. Even though we have had quite a few baby expenses, I think that avoiding shopping on Amazon has been good for budgeting purchases. I’ve had less impulse purchases when I actually have to go and get something. Since I try to get in and out of stores, there’s less browsing too. I really have been trying my hardest to support local and not Amazon when I can.
Our food costs this month has been lower too since so many people have generously been dropping off food for us. Not only has it saved us money, but also so much time and stress. I am so grateful for the gift of food!
Another thing that really stuck out this week was how challenged I was feeling by my relationship with my husband. The changes to your relationship post-baby is one thing I did not adequately prepare myself for when I was pregnant. It is really, really hard and sad. I am constantly mourning our old lives. It might not come across this way in the MD, but truly my husband is an amazing man, and he’s really stepped it up since I wrote this. We are still figuring things out, but I am optimistic. I did see my therapist since writing this and she was helpful at helping me decompress, so I hope to keep seeing her regularly.
Otherwise, I think it will take a few more months to be sure that I am confident in our finances. We are taking an 18 month maternity/paternity leave (my husband will get about 6 months after me), so we still have quite a bit of time to live on a lower income. We are figuring that we will probably start planning to build a house by the end of next year, so stay tuned and maybe I’ll post an update and how that changes things for us!
submitted by 5midge to MoneyDiariesACTIVE [link] [comments]

2020.08.29 06:13 CarlB1961 I Was An Actress On A Forgotten Nineties Sitcom. It Turned Out I Still Had A Fan. PART 2

Part 1
Slowly the blackness faded away and my vision returned, blurry at first, then gradually clearing. The left side of my head hurt, a steady throbbing pain. I groaned and sat up, rubbing my eyes.
I didn't know where I was and didn't remember what had happened at first. For a few minutes all I remembered clearly was unlocking my front door after returning from work. After that, everything was a distorted fog of hazy, half-remembered images that didn't seem to connect to form a coherent picture: the upstairs hallway...the bathroom door...roses...
I wondered for a moment if I had gotten drunk and passed out. I sure felt hungover. My head hurt, and my stomach felt queasy and weak.
I opened my eyes and turned my head to look around, instantly wincing as a sharp bolt of pain pierced my skull like an icepick stabbing into my brain. I waited for it to pass, then rubbed the left side of my head, gasping as this triggered another flash of pain. That side of my head felt very tender and sore, like a fresh bruise.
It wasn't just my head, either. I felt sick, and for some reason, the right side of my neck hurt, too. It almost felt like a bee-sting.
What the fuck happened? I wondered to myself.
I looked around at where I was, really taking in my surroundings for the first time. I was confused by what I was seeing.
I was lying in a bed, in a bedroom that wasn't mine. A bedroom that wasn't in my house.
I sat there for a few moments, bewildered. "What the fuck?" I whispered aloud. The shock seemed to clear my head some and I could think more alertly. I took another, more detailed look at the room I was in.
It looked like a bedroom that belonged to a teenage girl. The décor had a somewhat dated look to it. The posters on the walls were of Hootie & the Blowfish, Alanis Morissette, Mariah Carey, and a young George Clooney from the show ER . It looked like the bedroom of a trendy teenage girl from circa-1996. There was something weirdly familiar about it, something that gave me a vague feeling of deja vu, but I didn't concern myself with that right then. I was still trying to make sense of what had happened to me, where I was, and what I was doing here...wherever here was.
I got out of bed, standing up, feeling suddenly very dizzy. I grabbed ahold of the bedpost and leaned against it for support until I regained my equilibrium.
I glanced down...and did a double-take.
My clothes were different. The smart, modest blouse and skirt I had worn to work were gone.
I spotted a full-length mirror against one wall and approached it. I stared for what felt like an eternity, dumbstruck with shock at what I saw.
I was now dressed in a very short pleated plaid skirt and a very tight-fitting low-cut blouse that displayed my ample cleavage encased in a slinky red lace bra (my conservative white cotton bra had also been replaced) that peaked over the top. I was also wearing thigh-high socks and high heel sandals.
But what stunned me even more than my new outfit was my hair.
My normally straight brunette hair (I had changed my color in my late twenties) was now fire red and had been curled. It looked exactly like it had when I had been in my teens and early twenties. It also reminded me of something...something from my past...
I looked at my reflection, utterly flabbergasted, and appalled. I looked like some slutty school girl from a porno film. I looked like...
It clicked right then, falling into place. I gasped, shocked all over again as the revelation hit me. I took another look in the mirror, and there was no question. I was dressed exactly like my character, Emily Glover, and my hair had been colored and styled exactly as mine had been when I had been on the show all those years ago. I stared at myself, seeing the ghost of my younger self superimposed over the forty-five-year-old woman I had become. A middle-aged woman with lines of aging on her face, absurdly dressed like a teenaged nymphomaniac in a pubescent boy's wet dream.
I noticed something else. I leaned in for a closer look. There was a band-aid on the right side of my neck. A band-aid that hadn't been there before. I carefully peeled it off and saw a tiny red pinprick in my skin.
What was this??? What...
I glanced around the room and spotted something I hadn't seen before. On the wall over the bed was a school pennant. FUGATE HIGH it read in white letters over green.
Fugate High was the fictional high school Emily and her older brother Tucker had gone to in Til Death Do Us Part.
Now I knew why this room looked so familiar.
It was exactly like Emily Glover's bedroom in the series. Down to the last detail. The same posters, the same wallpaper, the same furniture.
I was dressed like Emily, in Emily's bedroom. How? Why? I didn't--
(I've been waiting a long time, my love.)
It hit me right then. My memories came flooding back and I remembered everything. The roses in the bathroom. The message printed on the mirror.
The man with the stocking over his face. The struggle in my bedroom.
My confusion and bewilderment gave way to sudden sheer horror. I screamed out loud, having a complete panic attack.
I understood then what had happened. I had been kidnapped. Some sick bastard had broken into my house and waited for me to get home from work, then knocked me out and abducted me. He had taken me... somewhere... and had changed my clothes -- the sick son of a bitch had had his hands on me!!! -- and dyed my hair while I was unconscious to make me look like the fictional character I had played on a long-forgotten TV show, before putting me in a room that was an exact replica of the bedroom of that same fictional TV character.
I touched that sore spot on my neck. He must have injected me with something after he knocked me out to keep me unconscious. How much time had passed? And where the fuck was I???
My survival instincts kicked in right then. I had to escape. Now. Before the crazy freak came back. I ran to the door and turned the knob...locked. He had locked me in.
I spotted a window and darted to it, throwing back the curtains...to reveal a solid panel of plywood nailed firmly over the glass.
I pounded against it futilely, then collapsed to my knees, weeping with frustration and fear.
I forced myself to calm down and tried to calmly assess my situation and decide what my next course of action should be. Sooner or later he would come back for me to do...God only knew what. Probably something too terrible to comprehend. I had to arm myself for when that happened. And when he came back, I'd ambush him when he opened the door.
I began to look around, scouring the bedroom for anything that would serve as a suitable weapon. The only thing even remotely useful that I found was a seven-inch nail file on "Emily's" vanity table. I had just picked it up...when I heard a sound that sent my heart racing and sent a lead ball of fear plummeting into the pit of my stomach.
The sound of approaching footsteps. Soft and steady.
I spun around to face the door, hiding the nail file behind my back, trembling as the footsteps stopped outside. I tensed myself, waiting.
I heard a key rattle in the lock. Then the door opened.
Part 3 https://www.reddit.com/nosleep/comments/ij6nmz/i_was_an_actress_on_a_forgotten_nineties_sitcom/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3
submitted by CarlB1961 to nosleep [link] [comments]

2020.08.27 11:51 PopulousPanda YouTube - House Song, Music video about a Summer Fling

Hi :)
I do not remember the lyrics or the melody as it was roughly 5 years ago that I heard the song but I remember the music video so I will try to describe is as best I can:
I watched the music video on YouTube. The genre was House or Tropical House or EDM. The entire music video is from the perspective of the guy, i.e. first person perspective. Throughout the description I will talk about "the guy" as the perspective of the camera.

  1. The opening scene is on a beach in summer, the guy and his friends are playing volleyball, and the ball goes wide and lands next to a girl who is lying on a towel. She picks the volleyball up and writes her phone number on it.
  2. The next scene the guy and girl meet up at a restaurant and laugh for a bit.
  3. The scene following the guy is picking the girl up in his car, he is sitting inside and you can see her climbing in from the passenger side. The same "type" of scene continues a few times but the girl has different clothing each time and I think it was new locations as well, showing that he picked her up many different times for different dates.
  4. They then go to a carnival at night on what looks like a pier. They walk around and play games and I think they kiss.
  5. They then spend the night together at one of their apartments I assume or a room of a hotel. You see her getting undressed to her underwear.
  6. It then cuts to the next morning, and you see her looking out onto the ocean, on the balcony of the apartment/hotel room only wearing underwear and no bra with her back faced towards the guy.
  7. The next and final scene the guy is sitting on the beach alone, he looks at a note in his hand and the note says something like "Summer is short, love lasts forever"
The closest comparison I can make is (Not that genre of music, nor the old school recording look but the perspective is identical: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y19FzsqM1as
It looks like something from Armadatv, Spinnin records etc
Thanks to anyone trying to help! Much appreciated :)
submitted by PopulousPanda to NameThatSong [link] [comments]

2020.08.24 18:01 GloomLady There’s Room Enough For Two. ©2019

Original Nosleep Post.
There’s Room Enough For Two.
As I did every morning, I nervously stepped on to the scale. I'd upped my daily exercise this month and it had led to a nerve racking plateau for my weight loss. It had been two weeks without any significant loss. Prior to the stall I'd been losing a steady ten pounds a month. It had been a year and I was halfway to my goal.
Standing on the scale, in nothing by my flabby birthday suit, I smiled as the digits fluctuated and landing on the final number. Half a pound down from yesterday.
"Yes!" I whispered. I stepped off and looked at my naked body in the mirror. Excess skin was now my most prominent feature. A flabby apron hung far below my waste, nearly overtaking my groin region. My once plump thighs now had folds and wrinkles adorning the pasty skin. My pendulous breasts looked like they belonged on a much older woman. I held my arms out and watched the loose skin flap about.
Was it gross? Probably. Was I disgusted by myself? Not at all. I was happy to finally be losing weight. After two decades overweight I was well on my way to being a healthy size. For the first time in my life I was proud of my body. I admired my newly unearthed cheek bones as I reached for my clothes on the counter. Briefly glancing at my arm flab as I slipped my bra straps onto my shoulders. If the car breaks down I can always use my new wings to to fly to work. a thought that made me chuckle.
In the kitchen I started packing my lunch. I carefully measured each ingredient, on my digital scale, before typing it in to the calorie counting app on my phone. Once my lunch was packed in my lunch bag I hurried out the door for work.
"Morning, skinny lady." Joyce, the receptionist, was excited for me. She'd managed to lose over a hundred pounds, after a weight loss surgery, a few years prior. We had never talked before she saw me chugging a weight loss shake a few months ago. Now we ate lunch together every day, discussing the ins and outs of our nutrition plans. She was quickly becoming one of my best friends.
"Morning!" I said as I walked passed her, and headed to my row of cubicles. I worked for a callcenter with revolving contracts. At that moment we were taking billing calls for a big cellphone company, management was elated and making sure we were all preforming at our best; Which meant raises for the best agents. "Thank you for calling [Redacted] together with [Redacted], Were we value your loyalty. My name is May! How can I help you today?"
"Why is my bill so high?!" The woman shouting into my headset had a thick southern accent. "I'd be happy to go over your bill with you, can I please have the phone number associated with the account?" I said cheerfully.
"Why the hell do you need that? Shouldn't you have my account in front of you?" While the company my call center worked for did have a program that auto-populated the information, from known numbers, we didn't have access to it.
"No, I'm sorry ma'am, I'll need to pull up your account manually. I'll just need the phone number on your account as well as your security phrase."
"Fine. The number is [Redacted] and my password is big d. That's, B-I-G-D, in case you're as dumb as you sound." I typed in the information and ignored her remark. You get used to people being assholes when you work at a call center.
"One moment while I look over your account, ma'am." Frequent caller flashed red in the corner of the screen. I skimmed through the notes on the account. Every 3 months she was calling in to get a discount on her bill, which she also didn't pay until she got that discount.
"You there?" She asked before mumbling, "Dumb bitch."
"Yes, ma'am. I see here that you haven't paid your bill since the..." I scrolled back down to get the date, "Twenty-Ninth of April."
"Don't tell me what I already know, Mary! I asked you why my damn bill was so high!" Disgruntled callers always got my name wrong. Correcting her would only make the call longer. I explained the chargers, late fees and payment policy, offered to apply her usual discount as a "One time courtesy." As all the other agents in her notes had done, and ended the call as quickly as possible. My next caller came on the line before I could finish adding my own note.
"Thank you for calling [Redacted] together with [Redacted], Were we value your loyalty. My name is May! How can I help you today?" "There's room enough for two." A voice whispered into my ear.
"Excuse me?" I asked. We often got prank calls, procedure was to do your best to stay polite and follow the script. I tabbed over to the window for my call script.
"We'll be together tonight." The caller whispered. I skimmed the script until I reached the last paragraph.
"If I've answered all your questions today please check your email for a customer satisfaction survey. Thank you for calling [Redacted]! We appreciate your loyalty and hope you have a great day." Ending the call I put my phone into After Call Work mode and took off my headset. We had ten minutes of ACW to use everyday, on detailed account notes or quick breaks, so I wasn't worried about my supervisor seeing me not taking calls.
In my pocket my phone buzzed. There was a No Phones on the Call Floor rule, but no one really followed it. I leaned back to get better access to my pocket and slipped my phone out. I had a new text.
It was from an unknown number. I considered the possibility of it being connected to the bizarre call I'd just gotten, but quickly pushed the thought away and put my headset back on. The rest of the day carried on as usual. Calls, break, calls, lunch, calls, break, calls, clock out. Joyce had already left for the day, and been replaced by the snobby blonde night shift receptionist, as I headed to the door.
"Oh! May! You had a phone call earlier, but you were on the floor so I took a message. You know you can't give out this number for personal calls." Her blonde hair was pulled into a tight bun at the tip of her head, making her features even more severe than usual.
"I've never given anyone the number to our front desk. What was the message?" I asked as she looked down to her violently pink note pad. "Creepy guy, whispered the whole time. He said to tell you, See you soon." she looked up and gave me a sly smile, "Hot date with Mr. CreepyMcWhispers, May?" I shook my head. "Well, anyway. I won't rat on you this time, but tell your creepy boyfriend to call you on your own time."
The drive home was uneventful. Upon entering my apartment I had an uneasy feeling and decided I should check the house before settling in for the night. Nothing was out of place and all the windows were locked. I headed to the bathroom to squeeze myself out of the sausage casing, that was my tummy control undergarment, and slip into my yoga pants and an old t-shirt to hit my little home gym.
An hour later I was on the couch, binging my favorite show, and munching on carrots and a plate of deli meat and crackers for dinner. I absentmindedly checked the time on my fitbit.
A chill ran down my spine as I remembered the phone call, text and message I'd received earlier. I brushed it off and finished two more episodes before jumping in the shower and calling it a night.
Laying in bed I was restless. The red glow from the digital clock, on my bedside table, taunted me to look at it.
The numbers pulsed.
I stared into the numbers until my eyes burned and I remembered to blink. Upon opening them a feeling of dread washed over me.
The floor outside my bedroom door creaked. A cold sweat seeped from every pore on my body as my heart began to race. I propped myself up on my elbows to see the sliver of light under my door. Nothing moved. I stared until the light blinked out, causing me to jump and burry myself in my bed. From the mock safety of my blankets I listened to my door nob rattle and turn. I tried to flatten myself into the mattress, disappear beneath the pillow top and springs. Obviously that was impossible.
"There's room enough for two." The voice from my headset whispered. Only it wasn't in my headset. I wasn't at work. The voice was in my home. In my bedroom. In the dark, with me. I couldn't move. Fear held me down on the bed. The movement of something getting on to my bed gave me the courage to bolt up and uncover myself enough to stare into the white eyes of the thing crawling on top of me. I tried to scream but all that my fear riddled body could manage was a whimper. It's cold wet hand slammed into my chest, pushing me back down on to the bed. It held me down while the other hand tore the blankets away from my stomach.
"So much room." It whispered as it slid its hand under my nightshirt and kneaded my belly. I tried to push it off of me, tried to wriggle away, but it was too strong and its skin was covered in a slimey mucus that caused my hands to slip right off of it. In a final attempt to free myself I reached for my clock and, with all my strength, slammed it into the side of the things head. It loosened its hold on me and I was able to slide out of bed. Recovering quickly, the thing pounced as I tried to run for the door, causing me to bash my head into my dresser and black out.
When I came to there was a searing pain in my abdomen. Sharp pulling and unbearable pressure. I opened my eyes to see my stomach bulging unnaturally around the thing as it was attempting to force itself into my stomach through a large cut it had made in the underside of my overhanging belly. It's feet were pushing into my thighs, it's arms had forced their way under my skin and into my back, and it's head was a bulbous bludgeon under my flesh nearing my chest. All that remained, outside of me, was it's back, rear end, and legs. It jerked and and pushed deeper into my flesh. I passed out from the pain and shock.
In the morning I awoke on the floor, I reached up to my throbbing head and felt a twinge of pain as my hand touched matted blood soaked hair around an open wound. I must have gotten out of bed to use the bathroom and hit my head, after my nightmare I thought. I forced myself up and gripped the dresser as everything's around me swam. I carefully made my way to the bathroom to clean myself up and find the first aid kit. My entire body ached.
After I was patched up a caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. My stomach had rounded itself out, the skin was taught and supple. aI stepped onto the scale.
136 pounds heavier than yesterday.



Creative works are automatically granted copyright protection. Posting on Reddit does not remove this protection. You may not use my writing without permission. Failure to obtain my permission will result in action against the infringing material.
submitted by GloomLady to u/GloomLady [link] [comments]

2020.08.23 15:20 autobuzzfeedbot Here's What 31 Husbands Do To Keep Their Relationships Alive. Also, Get You A Man Like This.

  1. "My husband and I have a nightly ritual. He says, 'Sweet dreams,' and I say, 'Dream about me.' Then he always responds, 'I do.'"
  2. "I write cheesy pick-up lines on Post-It notes, and leave them on my wife's coffee cup in the morning."
  3. "I scratch her back when she takes her bra off at the end of the day, and I always 'ooh' and 'ahh' when she steps out of the shower."
  4. "I have chronic spinal pain, and have to sleep on a heating pad every night. Sometimes, my husband turns it on and gets it heated up for me before I come to bed, and it really touches my heart."
  5. "I compliment more than just her physical features. While it's easy to say, 'You're beautiful,' I find it means more to her when I say things like, 'You inspire me.'"
  6. "When she cooks, I take less than enough food the first time so that I can take more later and make her feel good."
  7. "When it's my turn to do the laundry, I leave random things in her pants pockets for her to find later — origami, little notes, cute drawings, jokes, whatever I can think of. I even sometimes throw in random objects I find at work or yard sales — stuff like mechanical parts, labels, toys — anything that will confuse her and put a smile on her face."
  8. "I buy my wife flowers at completely random times. There's no rhyme or reason — I just see them and think she needs them."
  9. "Once a month, I get a babysitter, take my wife to a nice dinner, we have sex and cuddle at a hotel for an hour, then I leave her at the hotel so she can have a nice morning to herself off from mom duties."
  10. "When we're falling asleep but it's too hot to snuggle, he puts his foot on top of mine instead."
  11. "My partner and I live in different countries, and we only see each other every six weeks — so keeping our relationship alive takes extra work. But he knows how much hearing his voice calms me down, so he makes sure that he calls me every single night, even if it's just for a few seconds to say goodnight."
  12. "My boyfriend makes me coffee every morning — even if he's up at 5 a.m. for work — and he couldn't believe that nobody had done that for me before. I'm a single parent, and I'm used to doing everything myself, so a nice gesture like that is everything."
  13. "He claps every time I undress. It's so corny, but it really does make me feel beautiful."
  14. "I throw her towel in the dryer for a bit when she's in the shower."
  15. "My husband does the dishes because he knows I hate doing them."
  16. "When my wife calls, I always answer the phone like an excited child who gets to talk to his biggest hero, no matter how my day is going. Trust me, a shitty 'hello' turns into a shitty call, which leads to a shittier 'hello' later, and ultimately a shitty toxic relationship if left unchecked."
  17. "I stash chocolate to give to her when she has a bad day. Sometimes she even asks me if I have any 'secret chocolate.' It makes both our days better."
  18. "My husband of 23 years has been opening my car door since our first date. And he doesn't allow our daughter to get in a car unless the date opens her door."
  19. "I still kiss her goodnight, and I hold her hand while we sleep."
  20. "We share the exact same political views, but most of our family members do not. Well, I was a nationally ranked debater, so expressing my views comes very easily to me, but not as easily to my wife. So whenever she's having one of those intense discussions and she's getting flustered, I hop in and take over the argument for her..."
  21. "I photograph Renaissance faires, and my husband plants flowers in our yard so I have something to photograph when I'm at home."
  22. "Sometimes it's as simple as just running into the convenience store while the gas is pumping and grabbing her a Snickers bar just so she knows I was thinking about her."
  23. "Dates. I give her a reason to get dressed up, to have something to look forward to, something to tell her girlfriends about. I just text her the time and the dress code, and it ends up making both of our weeks."
  24. "I love how my husband still shows off for me in the corny — and sometimes cringey — way he did when we first started dating."
  25. "Remember to keep saying the things you think. If you think to yourself that she looks pretty, say so. If you remembered how lucky you are to have her while you were listening to your friends complain about their relationships, be sure to tell her when you get home..."
  26. "My fiancé always kisses me good morning — even if I'm half asleep and drooling."
  27. "Little touches whenever she's within arm's reach, and daily texts just to say, 'Hey, sexy. I can't wait to see you later.'"
  28. "It sounds stupid, but I still hold her hand whenever we go out. It really signifies how I feel."
  29. "Always be the guy who's willing to talk to the manager. My wife doesn't like to make a fuss because she's too shy, but if she was given tickets to the wrong movie or her food is missing something, I don't let it slide..."
  30. "Compliment her on everything — her looks, her outfits, her hair, how she smells, her decisions, her choices in whatever. Let her know constantly that you think she’s the shit."
  31. "My parents have been together for 48 years, and sadly, my dad has cancer and only has days left. Well, he's been scheming behind my mother's back to make it easier on my mom — asking me to send her flowers for him, and having me sort out the taxes. He even asked me to find a card for him to give her for their next anniversary — he won't be here for it, but he still wants to write it one last time. That is love."
Link to article
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2020.08.23 01:04 Electrical-Fan-7974 Entitled aunt tried to ruin 2 week Disney trip

Me - F***ing Me
GF - girlfriend
EA - entitled aunt
EU - entitled Uncle
EC 1 - entitled cousin
EC 2 - entitled cousin
M - Mom
D - Dad
Backstory: So I have known my girlfriend my whole life. Our parents were good friends since before we were born, so we were best friends by the time we were 3. When I was 14 I asked her out. And we have been dating 3 years so far (we are both 17 now) also my parent have a good bit of money.
Story: My Girlfriends Parents went on a two week business trip out of country. So my parents decided they would take the 2 of use plus themselves to Disney world. (this is in February of 2020 also I know 2 17 year old's plus 2 parents in Disney world is pretty cringe but it was fun) My EA and EU insisted that the come too because "Its what family is for" and because we had the money. My parents who are big softies said yes. so my parents booked and extra room and the layout was this EU, EA, M, D in one room and Me, GF, EC1, EC2 in the other. (Yes I had to share a bed with GF, but I ain't complaining) The first day at the parks I wanted to die. We couldn't go on big roller coasters because her kids were scared, and If we tried to go on alone we were "Excluding her children" and after about 6 hours of EA and EU complaining we went back to the hotel we ate dinner and chilled for the rest of the night exploring the hotel, swimming, etc. EA ( EU doesn't have much to do with the story but I thought I would include him) was tucking in her hell spawn when she saw GF strip down to her underwear and crawl into the bed with me (also in under wear) EA freaked she started screaming and calling her a b****, a h**, a w****, and a s***. While also screaming that she was trying to seduce her kids. We ignored her and went to sleep, What we didn't know is that every night at midnight EA came in to check on her kids. Anyways. Near midnight my GF woke up crawled on top of me and stared to play with my lips I woke up and we started to make out. I forget when but sometime during that she took off her bra. At midnight who is to walking and see to teenagers nearly naked teens making out ,EA. She shrieked and called the police saying I was Rapeing GF and that we were underage. (I am American BTW) Also My D*** was in my underwear were it should be. I will save you some time and skip to the end. She was caught lying and to prevent this from happening for another 2 weeks straight. we sent her home the next morning. Our vacation was great and I still got to sleep with GF ;)
I will post this on entitledparents redditoryt
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2020.08.22 01:52 bagthebossup I Shop When I'm Anxious: A List & Review of Everything I've Ordered from TB

Hello RL,
If you're anything like me, quarantine has been a time of aimlessly shopping to fill the hole in my life where most hobbies, social events, and other excuses to leave the house used to be. Unbeknownst to him, my therapist also encouraged this habit by instructing me to embrace "more hedonistic pleasure" during this time, so please send your regards to Dr. D for this list.
I made a similar post around eight months ago with a list of my purchases at that point, on my other reddit account (mods, I can post with that account here to confirm it's me if necessary). I will include those items in this list and update reviews as appropriate. Sadly, unlike in the last post, I will not be three glasses of wine deep -- in fact, I'm taking a hiatus from alcohol all together to discourage my newest quarantine past time of drinking sauvignon blanc and petting my dog manically while I buy yet another set of pillowcases for my throw pillows -- so please lower your expectations about how funny this post will be appropriately.
For reference, I am 5'2.5" tall (~158 cm) and currently 125 lbs (~56.7 kg). In non-quarantine times, I was a pretty TTS US2 in tops and bottoms (26" wait) but these days, that's just what I tell my MIL so she stops heckling my partner and I about exercising. However, I still have hope that the world will return to normal (and I will stop eating excessive amounts of candy whilst watching hours of YouTube videos about beauty gurus getting pregnant and sobbing), so most of my purchases are intended to fit a US2-4. My shoe size is 6.5, sometimes 6 in athletic shoes.
Without further ado, here's everything I've ever purchased from TB.
Pour la maison
Item Color / Size W2C Cop or Drop Notes / Updated Review
Jonathan Adler Coasters Woman C and Woman D Link Cop I use these as catch-all trays for keys etc. They are larger than most coasters (6" in diameter) but the quality is quite good, the image is clear, and I love the gold detailing on the rim.
Glass Decanting Bottle Link ? This never shipped so I asked for and received a refund. However, it has a bunch of positive reviews and I ordered it at the beginning of the year, so perhaps you'd have more luck ordering now.
Yeti Mug Black Link Cop I believe this is grey market. Does not come with the magnetic slidey thing on the lid (just a normal one without a cover) but you can order it separately.
Linen Napkins Linen Link Cop These are quite substantial and larger than the other linen napkins that I have from Sur la Table. If anyone really wants a measurement of them, lmk.
Linen Pillowcase White and Green Link Cop These are very nice for the price. Look expensive and fit my 18 x 18" pillows very well.
Plastic Storage Container Transparent Large Rectangle Link Cop I got this at the beginning of quarantine when everyone was organizing their house and I couldn't find any bins in stock anywhere. It's cheap, sturdy, and they list the dimensions in the link.
Item Color / Size W2C Cop or Drop Notes / Updated Review
Celine Hoops Gold Link Cop Branded, nice color (matches my 15k gold), substantial but not too heavy. Well-reviewed here
Celine Style Earrings Gold Link Drop Donated mine, looked cheap
Tiffany Lock Necklace Silver, "Key Bead Pendant Necklace" Link Cop Very good quality, has not faded or tarnished; this seller is well-reviewed here.
Moissanite Stud Earrings Ordinary Pair Link ? Mine were warehouse rejected with TB direct, but they are extremely well reviewed on TB.
Pearl Hoop Earrings White Link Drop I'm not sure if these are reps. They are very cheap/light feeling. Although I have worn them out, they're not my fave and I think you could find less plastic-y ones on TB for a similar price point.
Henri Bendel Bracelet Link COP I love this bracelet. It's unbranded but heavy and the appropriate shape. I've worn it in the showerunning and it hasn't tarnished or discolored my skin. It matches the tone of my 18k gold jewelry.
Small Three-Pearl Studs Link ? They're $5 and my partner likes them but they are not very substantial and will probably tarnish/show wear easily.
Pearl and CZ Necklace Link Cop Extremely light weight and definitely not that luxurious 'heavy' feeling of real gold jewelry, but it's extremely delicate and pretty nonetheless. Looks exactly like the photo in the listing.
Three-pearl Clover Bracelet Link Drop Wanted to wear this as an anklet but it's not long enough (I have pretty dainty ankles, too). Very light/cheap, may keep just to wear with the necklace for limited time periods.
Mother of Pearl Earrings Link Cop Love these, weighty and very nice looking for the price. I've worn them a couple times and gotten compliments.
Gold and Enamel Ring Size 5, Cream Link Cop Weighty and looks nice, TTS.

Item Color / Size W2C Cop or Drop Notes / Updated Review
Ambush T-Shirt 3 Yard (= US men's large) Link Cop My partner still loves this and wears it all the time. It's super soft and has held up through a ton of washes.
Nike Check T-Shirt Large Link ? This got warehouse rejected with TB direct, but has a ton of good reviews over at FashionReps
Off White Shirt White, Small Link ? Shirt is substantial, design looks correct, comes branded with tags. The only warning is that this is men's/unisex sizing but the arm holes are small, so the SM is long on me but the arm is too tight for me to give it to my bf, who it fits better (he's a men's M or L).
YSL Oversized Shirt Army Green and Apricot, Medium Link Cop I wear these as sleep shirts or to walk my dog over bike shorts. They are EXTREMELY thick and soft and I love them. YSL label looks correct and is printed cleanly. I may go for the grey as well.
Kitsune Love Birds T Shirt Black, Small Link Cop Look, the birds are not 1:1 but they look fine and I'm excited to wear this shirt around because it's hecking cute. It's TTS unisex sizing.
Ferragamo Logo T Shirt White, Small Link dead (Shop) Cop Love this shirt, sad the link is dead and the shop appears to have moved, but you could message
CDG T-Shirt S and L Link Drop Donated mine and my partner never wears the one I got him. They run small. Logo was fine but they just didn't fit TTS.
CL Leather Sneakers 37, White Link (currently OOS but shop's still active) Cop I love these. For the price, they look astounding and I'm so pleased with how well the leather is holding up.
Common Projects Sneaker 37, Red Link Cop Like the auths, these run big. Mine do not fit me, so although I like them a lot, I'll probably be posting them on BST.

Item Color / Size W2C Cop or Drop Notes / Updated Review
Lululemon High Waisted Shorts Black, Small (= 6) Link Cop Feel very similar to the auths. Branded, good fabric, fit TTS.
Lululemon T-Shirt Black, S Link Cop TTS, branded. Runs long, not sure if that's true of the auth as well, but it almost covers my butt.
Lululemon Jacket Green, L Link Drop Potentially controversial opinion but I do not like this jacket, despite it being fairly well-reviewed here. The L fits like a US small. The interior was messy in terms of stitching and unlined, and one of the pockets has some white shit all around the lining that I assume is for waterproofing but reminds me of insulation you're not supposed to touch.
Lululemon Tie-Back Top Black, 4 Link Cop Good workout stable, fabric and design look like auth.
Lululemon Align? Leggings Grey, Small Link Drop Don't like the way these felt (not like my auths), although I believe they were branded. I gave them away.
Lululemon Align? Leggings Black, Small Link Drop Same as above
Terrible Attempt at a Lululemon Bra Black, Small Link Drop Comically bad, random label, fit poorly, unbranded
Alo Crop T Black, White, Small, Medium Link Cop Branded, good quality, look like auth. Medium is a better fit for me.
Workwear / Women's Clothing
Item Color / Size W2C Cop or Drop Notes / Updated Review
RL Starter Pack - Satin Cami Medium, Large (Yellow, Beige, Grey, Dark Green, White) Link Cop Despite my initial lack of enthusiasm for these in my first review, they've grown on me and I've ordered additional colors. I like wearing them under sweaters and blazers.
Filippa K Button Down Blouse Beige, Small Link Cop Grey market, branded. Holds up well in delicate wash, should be washed with like colors
Zara Rolled Sleeve Blazer XS, Dark Green and Grey Link Cop Grey market, branded, a personal fave.
Sezane Rep Sweater Beige Link Drop Still on the fence about this one. I've worn it a couple times and cut out the itchy tag, but it's nothing special. (Original review: I'm sad about this one because it's well reviewed here, but it came with a random tag, is itchy, and isn't super flattering to my body type. Maybe other colors are better.)
Frame Jeans Black, 26 Link Cop Grey market, have remained a good true black after washing. Some color transfer onto lighter bags.
IRO Silk Cami Small (White), Medium (Black, Blue) Link COP Grey market, branded. A small = 34, medium = 36, both fit me with the medium being more of a loose/baggy fit. Got the blue for my friend and she loves it.
Reformation Dress Small Link Cop Saw this in another RL's review, I think she was on the fence about it but I really like it. The small is = US 2. Unbranded, lined.
Free People 2-Layer Lace Cami Small, Black Link ? The lace part of this is like a bandeau, and the exterior tank top is very large for a size small. I personally like it, since I like wearing slouchier tanks when I walk my dog, but it's sort of a bizarre fit. Unbranded.
Silk Tank Medium, White Link COP Really, really nice for the price. Runs a bit long so it's most appropriate for work. White is not see through. Probably will get more.
Everland Chelsea Boots 37, Dune Cow-Velvet (= suede) Link Cop? Do not cop these if you want great, substantial reps of the Everlane boot; do cop if you want well-constructed, light chelsea boots
Nicholas Kirkwood Flat Reps Light Grey, 27 Link Drop Left them at work at the beginning of quarantine and haven't missed them. (Original review: They're... fine. A bit tight (I have narrow feet, too) and don't feel sturdy. Not leather. I leave them at work for when I need nicer shoes than the formerly white sneakers I am frequently wearing.)
AMQ Scarf White/Beige Link Cop Original review: This is well reviewed on here. Looks beautiful. I got it as a gift and the recipient loves it.
Zara? Chelsea Boots 37, Black Link Cop? They're not leather, but they're nicely constructed for the price and comfortable and don't have a weirdly wide ankle hole. Not appropriate for business professional but I like 'em as shoes that look decent but I'm not worried about wearing them to walk a lot / in the rain, etc.
Bags / SLG
Item Color / Size W2C Cop or Drop Notes / Updated Review
THE Gucci Soho Green Original link is dead, I found this one from reverse image searching the product image from when I bought it: Link (will need VPN from US) Cop Still reach for this a ton, looks great with leather conditioner. (Original review: I got the green and I fucking love it. I'm about to buy another one. It's reviewed a ton here, so check it out. TL;DR: link on tassel doesn't fully close but otherwise it looks güd)
Longchamp Le Pliage Black, Medium Link Cop One of my personal favorite purchases. Branded and well-reviewed here. Seller has other LC bags as well.
Prada Cahier Black Velvet Link Cop Still need to fix the star trails but still very happy with it. (Original review: Smelled like a fufu den in my house and I still need to fix the star trails but this is unreal quality for the price.)
CL Card Holder Light Green Link Cop I'm very happy with this. It's fun. No idea how it compares to the auth since I've never seen it, but I wanted a colorful card holder that I wouldn't lose in my dark bags and this fits the bill.
Goyard Laptop Case Large Link ?? Still sitting in my closet. (Original review: The large is entirely too large for my 13.5" laptop so this is sitting in my closet. I forget what it looks like.)
Accessories / Misc.
Item Color / Size W2C Cop or Drop Notes / Updated Review
Sigma Makeup Brushes E05, E20, E25, E50 Link Cop Great. Probably grey market.
Hourglass Makeup Brushes 2, 4, 5 Link COP Great. Probably grey market, match my H1 brush perfectly.
"Silk" Hair Ribbon Black, Champagne Link Cop I amend my original review: I don't think these are real silk, but they're pretty and hold my hair up and I'm wearing one right now.
Acne Beanie Adult Grey Link Cop Real thick, fits my partner's big head and my smaller head, logo looks fine
Anthro Hair Ties Set of 6 Link Cop? Fine for the price, nothing special, not silky or soft
Antro Hair Clip Light Tortoiseshell Link Drop Cheap / flimsy
Anthro Bobby Pin Set of 3 Black Link COP Very pretty / sturdy, I wear them a ton

Hall of Shame
Item Color / Size W2C Cop or Drop Notes / Updated Review
Zara Moto Jacket Grey, Small Link DROP This was a surprise disappointment because this shop sells the GM Zara Blazers but this jacket looks like it costs exactly what it's worth. The outside looks ok but the inside is unlined, the edges of the suede on the belt don't match up, loose threads everywhere, etc. I got rid of mine, it wasn't even donate-able.
Zara Leopard Shirt Small Link Drop Same store as above. Donated.
Zara Jungle Shirt Small Link Drop Another disappointment, and also weirdly short on my already short person.
Victoria Beckham T Shirt Small, Black Link Drop Font's too small, shirt's thin. Gave away.
(Non-rep) Sweater / Skirt Set Beige, Small Link DROP Original review: My friends, the skirt's top looks like I made it in 8th grade home economics if I also was prone to binge drinking before middle school. The sweater is lumpy but otherwise constructed ok. I let the paid reviews trick me; may you learn from my folly.
(Non-rep) Army Boots 37 Link Drop Original review: IDK what I was expecting here. I may keep them from for a Halloween costume if I decide I want to dress up like cosplay as the ROTC guy I dated in college.
Oversized Sweater Beige, M Link Drop Shapeless and sad and I should have known better.
Christian "Dor" Dad Sandals 37, White Link DROP They say "Christian Dor" on the strap and "DOIR" on the bottom.

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2020.08.21 23:06 Quirky-Motor EXTENSIVE two-part write up. The murder of Laci Peterson- is there really reasonable doubt? The end of the prosecution case and defense's case. Part 2 of 2. Please read part 1 first for the prosecution case and background.

Other info used by the prosecution
What Laci was wearing when she went missing is somewhat of a mystery. Laci was found in tan maternity capris and a maternity bra. Her sister Amy, the last person who saw Laci conclusively, said she was wearing tan maternity capris, a floral blouse, and dress shoes when she saw Laci on the evening of the 23rd. Those clothes were found in the home during the search warrant. The blouse was in the hamper and the pants were in the hanging in the closet. Laci was found in very similar pants to the ones she was wearing on the 23rd, she may have had two pairs of the same pants. She was not found in a white shirt or black pants like Scott and neighbors claimed she as wearing. This was the outfit on Laci’s missing poster.
Scott refused to get Laci’s dental records for Modesto PD for weeks. He made excuses such as he didn’t know the address or couldn’t remember which dentist she went to. When police got the records, it showed that Scott and Laci went to the same dentist.
Scott never inventoried Laci’s things. When he discovered she was missing he never looked to see if she took her purse, cell phone, or coat with her on her walk.
At the home an open bottle of ranch dressing was on the counter on the night of the 24th. When asked Scott said he didn’t like ranch dressing and that it was for Laci’s pizza, which they ate the night before.
The Rochas wanted to retrieve some of Laci’s things such as mementos and Laci’s diary from the Peterson home, but Scott would not comply. Scott replied by getting a security system and Lee said the Rochas could not have these things because they were “Scott’s property.” Scott called the security company for his house and made sure the company knew “no Rochas” was his policy. Sharon later broke into the house to get these things- no charges were filed against the Rochas.
Scott tried to sell he and Laci’s home only three weeks after Laci went missing. He asked realtors to keep the story out of the press and wanted the house sold as is, completely furnished, with everything in it. Despite this he still would not give the Rochas Laci’s things such as her wedding dress, diary, or décor from the home.
There has been much debate over whether or not Scott wanted to have a baby or not and his behavior shows both a doting father and a bachelor playboy, depending on who you ask. At one-point Scott was talking to Anne Marie Rocha, Brent’s wife when he told her that he “was hoping for infertility” in the middle of Laci’s struggle to get pregnant. She thought it was a weird joke. On a home video of a holiday, Scott has to hold a baby for a few minutes and says “well this isn’t very fun” Laci says, “this is the only time you’ll see him do that (hold a baby)” and laughs. Scott told Amber Frey that he was so adamant about not having a child he wanted to get a vasectomy. Adversely, others have mentioned that Scott did want a baby. He painted Conner’s nursery and when Laci was trying to conceive, he got a Viagra prescription to make sure they would be able to have sex when she was ovulating.
In January 2003, Sharon Rocha called Scott to inform him that in a Jan. search of the bay searchers did not find Laci, only an anchor. Scott seems to whistle in relief. The conversation was so unsettling it was played for the jury.
Throughout the investigation Scott never participated in any public events for his wife. He refused to talk at vigils, on the news, or even get his photograph taken by local reporter Ted Rowlands. This was surprising to Rowlands as most missing people get very little press and when they do loved ones typically jump at the opportunity to spread the word about their missing relatives. Eventually, Scott contacted Gloria Gomez and gave a total of four interviews. In these interviews Scott said things like "I loved Laci" past tense and other statements which made him look bad to the public.
In January det. Grogan asked Scott again if he had had any affairs. Scott said no and Grogan produced a picture of Scott and Amber. Scott peered at the photo for a while and then responded, “Is that supposed to be me?”
In early January, when Laci had been missing for three weeks, Scott called dish network and added the Playboy channel to his subscription. Four days later he canceled the channel and instead added the TENXtsy channel, a hardcore porn channel instead which cost I believe an extra $12.99 monthly. This was for the TV in the living room. He canceled the channel on February 18th 2003, the day a search warrant was to be executed in his home. He told the dish network he was cancelling because he was moving abroad. One documentary claims that the police bought the subscription to frame Scott. Like many other tidbits in this story alone it doesn’t mean much but it shows how Scott was behaving as if his wife was not coming home.
Before his arrest Scott was staying with his half-sister Anne Bird in San Diego. While there Scott’s came on to Anne’s babysitter and made her mixed drinks, he called flirtinis. Jackie Peterson also said to the babysitter “I hope Scott can meet a nice girl like you.” The behavior of both Scott and Jackie was so outrageous and inappropriate the babysitter never came back.
Scott had two debit cards. One was linked to a PayPal account that Laci did not know about. He used this account to buy things for his various girlfriends.
Scott bought Ayiana, Amber’s daughter a pop-up book for Christmas. This book was purchased for Conner by Scott’s sister and given to Laci at Conner’s baby shower.
There were some rumors in this case that Laci had previously also had an affair with a man who worked at her gym. These rumors were unable to be verified by either the prosecution or the defense and no evidence to support this theory was ever found.
When patrol officers first entered the house, they noticed the defense attorney ad was open in the phone book on the kitchen counter. Later tests showed that the phone book naturally opened to several different ads because of how the pages were designed. This ad was one of those pages.
On Dec. 25th Lee Peterson made sure that Scott had an attorney, and was no longer speaking to anyone within the police department. This made some think that Lee was suspicious of his son from the beginning. Others have said that Lee was simply being proactive.
By February police told Laci’s family that they had cleared all of Laci’s family members… with the exclusion of Scott.
Chris Pixley and Richard Cole are two journalists who are always interviewed in documentaries about the case. Both men stayed with the Petersons and were planning on helping the Petersons write a book about the case after Scott was exonerated. Both men attended the trial on family passes.>
Laci’s family supported Scott for the first few weeks of the investigation.
After the testimony of over 100 prosecution witnesses, the Defense’s presented this case
Laci was alive and well on the morning of the 24th when Scott left for work and she met with foul play outside her home that morning. There were a variety of theories pushed forward.
  1. One was that Laci was accosted when she confronted the men robbing the Medina house across the street at approximately 11:40 am on Christmas eve. This is corroborated by a witness, Diane Jackson, who saw a van in the area at that time.
  2. Another was she was attacked in the park by either a sex offender or because of her nice jewelry.
  3. The third was that Laci was abducted by a family in a brown van who used her for some type of Satanic ritual.
Mark Geragos, Scott’s million-dollar celebrity attorney said in his opening statement that he would produce witnesses who saw Laci walking that morning, witnesses who saw Scott’s empty boat, and a witness who saw a pregnant woman being pushed into a van (a man named Tom Harshman), but none of these witnesses were produced at trial.
Timeline and theories
Early on in the case the defense scored major points by showing the jury that it was likely Laci was alive on Christmas eve, which was contrary to the prosecution who tried to show that Laci died on the evening of the 23rd. The defense showed this by demonstrating that Scott watched Martha Stewart that morning, and because Scott described Laci wearing clothes witnesses saw her in that day, white shirt and black pants. They also pointed to the fact that the dog was found with a leash on and that Laci’s curling iron was out on the counter. The computer evidence such as the online shopping on the computer that morning added to this theory. Geragos also told the jury that the prosecution could not answer how Laci was murdered, when she murdered, or where she was murdered with any detail at all. All of these things made the prosecution look like bumbling idiots and the jury was impressed.
Geragos also showed that Modesto PD had not interviewed all area sex offenders in an effort to show reasonable doubt. Brocchini explained that he did not interview all sex offenders because some were so elderly, but the damage was done. In another prosecution guffaw, it was revealed that not all witnesses who saw Laci that morning were formally interviewed by the police. Modesto PD claimed that it was impossible to interview every person, but that mistake was another piece in the puzzle that showed that perhaps, the police had tunnel vision in this case.
Geragos also tried to display that the men who robbed the Medina house were good suspects. The Medinas who lived on Covena Ave. left their home at 10:32 am on Christmas eve and did not return until the afternoon of the 26th when they discovered they had been robbed. Assuming that the robbery happened on the 24th and not the 25th or 26th like the robbers later claimed, it is believed the burglary happened at about 11:40 am, after the Medinas left for the Christmas holiday. This time is corroborated by a neighbor named Diane Jackson who saw three “dark skinned but not African American” men behind a van in front of the Medinas’ home at this time. Police put out a reward for information and got a break within days.
Steven Todd and Donald Pearce were arrested for the robbery on January 2nd 2003 after trying to sell some valuables from the Medina’s home. When apprehended the first words out of Steven Todd’s mouth was “I didn’t have anything to do with the pregnant girl.” The defense has always reasoned that the police should have pursued this exclamation, but they didn’t. Both men pleaded guilty to the robbery but claimed it happened Christmas day or early on the 26th, not on the 24th. Modesto PD asserted that they cleared these men as they believed the robbery happened later, after Laci was already missing. The defense and Scott’s family believe the burglary took place on the 24th and the criminals lied about the date to distance themselves from Laci’s disappearance.
This theory was somewhat strengthened by the statement of Russell Graybill, the Petersons’ mailman. Graybill testified that when he delivered a package to the Peterson’s home between 10:35 and 10:50 am. McKenzie did not bark at him. Graybill testified at trial that McKenzie normally barked at him but he didn’t bark on Christmas eve. This was shown to “prove” that Laci was walking him at that time.
Scott supporters have touted two other pieces of evidence to prove this theory. The first piece of the evidence in this story involved the fact that in January a woman who knew the burglars pawned a Croton watch similar to the one Laci had and was presumably wearing. The problem with the watch “evidence” lies in the pawn ticket. The pawned watch is not listed as having diamonds embedded into it like Laci’s did, casting doubt onto this idea that the watch was Laci’s. The second piece of evidence is much more compelling. From scottpetersonappeal.org,
“Yet another concerning tip came from a Lt. Aponte who worked in a California prison. He called Modesto Police to report a monitored phone conversation that one of their inmates had with his brother, who lived in Modesto. The brother told the inmate that Laci had confronted the burglars who were robbing the house directly across the street from where she lived. That house was, in fact, robbed the day Laci went missing. This conversation was recorded by the prison. Not only has the Modesto Police Department never handed over any follow up on the tip from Lt. Aponte, the tape has been lost.” This is a thought-provoking piece of evidence, but I am not sure it proves anything conclusively. ​
The problems with the “Laci confronted the burglars” theory are numerous. The timeline would go something like this. Laci leashes up McKenzie who gets out and wanders in the street until found by Karen Servas at 10:18 am. Servas puts McKenzie away and then later Laci walks McKenzie through the park where she is seen by witnesses. Laci returns home, puts McKenzie away (but keeps the leash on) and takes off her shoes. She either changes clothes or later the robbers re-dress her. Then shoeless, Laci at 8 months pregnant waddles across the street and confronts either 2 or 3 male burglars without even her dog for protection. (PS the men are breaking into the home in the middle of the day). The men kill her, rob the house, change Laci into a new outfit, only a maternity bra and tan capris, and dump her in the ocean ninety miles away EXACTLY where Scott Peterson was fishing. It is also important to note that the defense did not call any witnesses who could bolster this theory except Graybill.
Another possible theory floated by Scott supporters and the defense was the idea that Laci was kidnapped while in the park. One witness, Diana Campos, who worked at a hospital that abuts the park (only three blocks from the Peterson house) remembers seeing a pregnant woman walking a Golden Retriever in the park at 10:30 am on Christmas eve. The woman was struggling to control the dog, who was barking incessantly. A man in a beanie apparently yelled at the woman “Shut that f*cking dog up!”
The problem with this theory is that both the Modesto PD and Scott’s attorneys interviewed this woman and chose to NOT call her to testify at trial. I believe if the lead was credible, the woman would have testified for the defense. Another issue is the timeline and the details of the sighting. For this sighting to work we have to ignore Karen Servas’ testimony. If this woman in the park was Laci, she must have gotten McKenzie from the yard after McKenzie escaped then walked to the park where she encountered someone who wanted to harm her. This person then would have had to return Laci’s shoes to the house, re dressed her, put McKenzie in the backyard and then dump her body in the ocean ninety miles away EXACTLY where Scott Peterson was fishing.
A third possibility was mostly pushed by Matt Dalton, an attorney who worked on Scott’s case but was fired before trial. Geragos kicked Dalton off the case because Dalton was obsessed with the idea that a satanic cult kidnapped Laci and another woman, Evelyn Hernandez. I think Geragos did not want this to be mentioned at trial and focused on other angles, but this still needs to be discussed. As mentioned above a woman was raped in Modesto in the week before Laci’s disappearance. The victim called a crisis line and reported that she had been raped by a group of people in a brown van and that the assault was part of a Satanic ritual. The abductors then told the woman that they were going to commit a Christmas murder that she would “read about in the papers.” The police found the people and van in question and processed the brown van for evidence, surprisingly no evidence of any crime was found in the van. When the police were done with the vehicle, Geragos bought the van, but he never found anything or used the van at trial- leading spectators to believe that the van held no evidentiary value.
Other proof for this theory is mostly found in Dalton’s book about the case. Matt Dalton first dreamed up this theory when went to a bar in Modesto one night where he interviewed some young locals about the goings on in Modesto. After seeing some people in skull t-shirts playing Dungeons and Dragons, Dalton asked about cult activity. The people told him that Modesto had Satanists, including a weird family who lived in a brown van. Dalton then learned that Dec. 24th is a holy day in the Satanic calendar and thus he extrapolated that Satanists did sacrifices on this day. He also discovered that May 1st, the day Evelyn was last seen was also a Satanic holiday. He soon became obsessed with this idea that Laci was abducted for a ritualistic purpose. Once Laci’s body was found Matt Dalton walked along the beach where he found some weird paintings on rocks and determined this was where rituals were taking place. (The paintings ended up being a strange art installation by a group called The Bulb.) He also found a police report that someone had reported finding a bucket of organs on the beach, but this has never been independently verified. Dalton surmised that these were Laci’s organs as she was found mostly skeletonized and had very few organs left.
Dalton is famous for connecting Laci’s case to the case of Evelyn Hernandez. This piece of evidence is talked about online extensively and is used to show that pregnant women were going missing and being found headless in San Francisco bay. While it is a strange coincidence, what documentaries and Pro Scott pundits never tell you is that Evelyn’s case has a prime suspect and it is not a serial killer or a Satanist family, it is Evelyn’s boyfriend, Herman Aguilera. This man is presumed to have killed Evelyn when she was only one week from giving birth, on May 1st 2002. As friends and family later discovered Evelyn was Herman’s “other woman.” Evelyn did not know her boyfriend was married. According to Aguilera’s family Herman did not want to deal with a pregnant mistress or want another child. Evelyn was last seen at a gas station frequented by Herman. Tragically, Evelyn’s son Alexis age 5, and her full-term baby boy, Fernando disappeared with her and have never been found.
The problem with this satanic angle is that it is far-fetched and does not explain most of the evidence. If Laci was abducted, where? Was she walking down the street in the mid-morning when some Satan worshippers happened to drive by and abduct her, put the dog in the yard, put her shoes in the house, changed her clothes and then dumped her body in ocean just where Scott Peterson was fishing? And what about Evelyn? Were these same people driving by as she and her son went to a gas station near Aguilera’s home in the middle of the afternoon? As I said this theory doesn’t hold water, but it important to explore.
Rush to judgement
Another thing focused on heavily by the defense was the idea that the Modesto PD “rushed to judgement” and wanted to nail Scott from the beginning. The defense asserted that this began with officer Evers saying that home was “suspicious” at 6 pm to his superior. Geragos and team asserted that this was improper and created tunnel vision in the department.
The Modesto police has always held that they simply followed the evidence and focused on the most likely suspect, Scott. After all it was not just Evers who thought the scene was suspicious. It was Evers, Spurlock, other patrol officers, Brocchini, Laci’s friends, Amy Rocha, Sergeant Duerfeldt, neighbor Karen Servas and others. If the Modesto PD wanted to frame someone, as sad as it is, they could have framed the Medina burglars and no one would have batted an eye. But they didn’t.
Other evidence used by the defense
Laci sightings
Approximately 12 people called the MPD to report seeing a woman who matched Laci’s description walking a dog on the morning of the 24th within one mile of the Peterson home. The prosecution called four women to the stand who were dog walkers who lived in the vicinity of the Peterson home at the time of the disappearance to account for some of these sightings. Most people saw Laci or someone who resembled her in black leggings and a white top, the same outfit she was in on her missing posters. However, when she was found she was wearing tan maternity capri pants and a maternity bra only. According to the Petersons, nine of these witnesses were never interviewed by a detective. What they don’t tell you is that a patrol officer and the DA’s investigators did some of the interviews. Nevertheless, not all people who called in with witness sightings were interviewed which helped the defense. Let’s look at these witnesses who we know about.
The people interviewed in the documentary The Murder of Laci Peterson were apparent “witnesses” who were never interviewed by the police and were not called at trial. Why? Because when Geragos interviewed them he found them to be unreliable, confused, or just wrong. Homer Maldonado claimed to have seen Laci walking the dog three times…during times she was proven to be elsewhere. Maldonado also refused to be interview by police. Because of this he was not called. Vivian Mitchell was another witness who claimed she saw Laci walking the dog on Dec. 24th. She then specified she knew exactly the time because she saw Laci during the football game on TV, but there were no football games on TV on the 24th. Vivian was also 80 years old and her husband was 84. Her husband Bill told police he did not remember ever seeing Laci. Mike Chiavetta remembered seeing a woman walking a Golden Retriever in La Loma park on the most likely 24th but said that it was a bright sunny day and the park was filled with people. It was misty and overcast on the 24th although the 23rd was bright and sunny. Scott supporters will have you believe that Laci was abducted right after the Chiavetta sighting even though Chiavetta claims the park was filled with people that day. Also, Chiavetta never reported he saw Laci, he saw a woman in a white shirt walking a Golden Retriever. When asked if she was pregnant, he said “I don’t know.” Tom Harshman is the man who saw a pregnant woman pushed into a van on the 24th of December, however police documentation says this was not reported until the 28th. In between 2 and 4 pm, he saw a woman in a red shirt and black pants urinating against a fence. There was a man standing over her and she looked scared. Then he saw a hand reach out of a van and pull the woman into the van. The tip was not investigated by the Modesto police department because they circumstance, location, and clothing did not fit. Either way Geragos interviewed many of the witness and didn’t call any of them. He said specifically he would call Harshman, but he didn’t.
Conner’s live birth and condition of the bodies
One thing that is brought up often by the defense is information brought forth by their expert that Conner was alive for one week following Laci’s disappearance. The defense believed Conner was born alive and died at a different date, or that Laci and Conner were alive after Laci was abducted. They also like to talk about twine, or tape that was wrapped around Conner’s body. Laci’s body also had trace amounts of caffeine present even though Laci gave up caffeine during her pregnancy.
Laci and Conner were found in the same area but separately on different days. Laci was badly decomposed; barnacles were on her bones and most of her organs except parts of her uterus were gone. There was a large hole in her womb from decomposition. Conner was somewhat decomposed but he was fully intact. The medical examiner thought this was because he was protected inside of Laci until her uterus decomposed expelling him into the bay. The medical examiner could find no cause of death for Laci and ruled that Conner died due to his mother’s death at approximately 33 weeks gestation. Conner seemed to be inside of Laci until shortly before he was found. The medical examiner explained to the jury that Conner most likely floated out of his mother’s abdomen due to gasses building up in her body. Additionally, his umbilical cord was torn, not cut or clamped and he had no injuries of any kind. He was not even bruised. Further, Laci’s cervix was closed indicating she had not given birth recently. The ME also explained that there was 28 cm worth of tape around Conner’s torso, head, and shoulders. It is not a nice neat bow but rather a tangled length of tape or twine. To me it actually looks like the remains of a plastic shopping bag.
The defense has always argued that this twine was wrapped around his body on purpose by someone, although they cannot explain the function of the twine. Picture here- http://pwc-sii.com/Research/connetwine.htm. (PS this is from a website called Scott is Innocent just fair warning). They also cannot explain how Conner died as he was not even bruised. On cross examination the ME admitted that it was “possible” Conner was born alive. He also admitted it was possible he had lived longer than his mother. He could not conclusively rule out those things even though they were improbable. The defense saw this as a win and brought in their own expert to testify.
Dr. March, the defense expert is not a medical examiner or a forensic pathologist; he is fertility doctor who helps couples get pregnant. Using the same methods as the ME, which involves using ultrasound pictures and measuring the baby’s femur, Dr. March determined that Conner was 33 weeks gestation, BUT he also decided that when Laci went missing, she was only 32 weeks pregnant meaning she had survived a whole week after her disappearance. How did Dr. March know this? Dr. March pushed Laci’s conception date forward six days because “women always talk about these things.” Dr. March heard that Laci attended a baby shower for a friend on June 8th and did not tell her friends that she was pregnant. Because of this he surmised that Laci must have learned about her pregnancy on June 9th meaning her conception date was the last week of May. This was the evidence used to prove Conner was alive until the end of December.
Not surprisingly March was destroyed on cross examination. He admitted he did not know about decomposition or autopsies and was not an expert in those fields. He also admitted he really had no way to know when Laci got pregnant and he was just guessing from her behavior when she got pregnant. At one point he even said during cross “Cut me some slack!” when they were grilling him. By the end of his examination he was saying “I’m sorry” and “I really don’t know” To most questions. He was not a good witness and his blunders were some of the biggest in the trial.
The defense always held that the missing concrete in Scott’s warehouse was used to repair the driveway and not used to make anchors for Laci’s body. The prosecution brought a petrographer to the stand who testified that the cement was not the same in the driveway as it was in the anchors- they had different chemical compositions. The defense also brought an expert to the stand who testified that the concrete samples weren’t the same…but they were very similar to one another. Gebler the defense expert testified that the driveway sample could have been different because it picked up debris already on the driveway.
Boat evidence
The final evidence that is brought up by the defense was an experiment conducted by Geragos’ investigators. They bought a boat similar to Scott’s and filmed someone trying to throw a 100 lbs. object off the boat. The experiment was meant to show that the boat was too small and throwing a person off the side would capsize a boat. At trial an expert fisherman testified that in order to throw a body off a boat that size you had to do it from the back of the boat, not the side. Nevertheless, Geragos wanted his video to be admitted at trial, but it was not.
The critical thing to note here is that this video was never meant to be admitted into evidence, it was a media stunt. Geragos sent this video to the media and then placed a similar boat two blocks from the court house and invited people to see how small it was. According to a book written by the jury after the trial, Geragos did this stunt to try to distract, confuse, or accidentally bias the jury in hopes of getting a mistrial. It did not work and the trial went on. The boat also backfired on Geragos as it became a shrine to Laci and baby Conner. Here’s the defense’s video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x03H94jjDGQ.
Amber was the aggressor
One thing that Scott’s apologists will often bring up is the fact that Scott wasn't really in love with Frey and that Amber was the “aggressor” in that relationship. Some people, like Matt Dalton have said things like “Scott wouldn’t leave Laci for Amber. Laci was way more attractive!” (yes, he really made that claim). They try to show that Amber aggressively pursued Scott even when he was trying to distance himself from her. They believe that Scott’s lies to Amber such as “I will be in Maine for Christmas” were his attempts to ditch her. They also make a fuss because on Dec. 26th Amber called Scott several times on the same day which proves that she was obsessed with him. Whether or not this is the case it doesn't really matter because Scott is a grown man who could have broken it off with Amber or even ghosted her at any point but he didn't. He chose to call Amber after Laci was missing, he continued to speak to Amber, and he continued seeing Amber in person. Further, he kept lying to her hoping she would not find out about his missing pregnant wife.
Whether Amber was Scott’s soul mate, a one-night stand, or a girl he took out to lunch a few times an affair is an affair. Scott did not have to be completely and utterly in love was Amber in order for that to be a motive for him to kill his wife. In my completely amateur opinion, Scott wasn't in love with Amber at all. Scott was in love with being a player who could do whatever he wanted and wife and child was getting in the way of that lifestyle.
Scott’s history of non-violence
One interesting thing that the defense uncovered was Scott’s history of non-violence. Going through school records the defense was able to show that Scott had absolutely no history of violence. Not even a school yard fist fight. Most spouse killers have a history of domestic violence, but Scott did not. In fact, most people remember Scott as being passive in his marriage, not angry or violent.
Scott would not plead down
In “Presumed Guilty” Dalton explains that he questioned Scott extensively and asked him if something happened, such as an accident or a domestic violence situation that lead to Laci’s death. Dalton thought that if this was the case Scott could plead to a lesser charge. Scott was adamant this was not the case and insisted he had nothing to do with Laci’s demise. Scott insisted on pleading not guilty.
Brocchini’s bad testimony
One thing that aided the defense in the trial was the testimony of Al Brocchini. Brocchini made several mistakes on the stand and the defense showed that four specific parts of Brocchini’s testimony were lies. Brocchini lied about one witness who he said he contacted. He also lied (or was confused) about the times certain tips came in to the tip line. Finally, he chose not to include one witnesses (Ms. O’Donnell) statement in his reports. This damaged Brocchini’s testimony and was a win for the defense. When asked about this the jury said that this was not a good look for the state, but it wasn’t Brocchini’s testimony that convinced them that Scott was guilty, it was detective Grogan’s. And of course, Scott’s own behavior and movements that day.
Five women who were pregnant went missing
Another piece of evidence spread around by Scott apologists is the fact that five pregnant women, seven if you include Evelyn and Laci, went missing in the time around Laci’s disappearance. Additionally, it was touted that these women all went missing from Northern California and area where 15 million people reside. Five women would be an interesting coincidence if they went missing from Modesto, or even the same county, but this is not the case.
Pregnant woman heckled
In one documentary on the case a pregnant woman in Modesto claimed that on Christmas eve, 2002 when she was heavily pregnant, she was opening her shop at about 11:00 am when she was “heckled” by two men. The incident made her uncomfortable enough that she got a male co-worker who told the men to get lost. While this is an interesting piece of information it doesn’t prove anything.
Not enough time to commit the murders
Some of Scott’s supporters will tell you that Scott had no time to commit these murders because his whereabouts were known for all of the day on Christmas eve. First, this assumes Laci was killed during Scott’s timeline which obviously wasn’t going account for this. Second, it does not explore the possibility that Scott killed his wife before 8:30am on the 24th when Scott said he got up for the day.
Incompetent legal counsel
There are also some people who are concerned that Mark Geragos was incompetent as Scott’s attorney. Mark Geragos has represented Michael Jackson, Winona Ryder, Jussie Smolet, Robert Clinton, Chris Brown and many other prominent clients. In general, he argues down and makes sure his clients never land in jail but rather get counseling, probation, and community service. Geragos may be cocky, but he is far from incompetent.
Tried in the court of public opinion
You cannot talk about this case without mentioning that Scott Peterson was tried in the court of public opinion. There is no denying this and an unbiased jury was hard to compile. But if history has shown us anything it is that good attorneys can keep hated clients (OJ Simpson, Casey Anthony) out of jail. Scott’s representation was the best of the best and he was still convicted.
The jury and the rush to judgment angle
The jury actually thought about this in deliberations pretty extensively. This idea of rush to judgement was woven through the opening statement as well as Geragos’ performance in the early weeks of the trial. In those first few weeks most jurors agreed that acquittal was on the horizon. Not only did the Modesto police seem to have tunnel vision, they made some extensive mistakes, and Geragos presented information in a much more interesting and compelling way. He made big promises to show Scott as “stone cold innocent” and vowed to bring witnesses who would break the case wide open. But after months of testimony and no compelling witnesses the jury had to convict because it wasn’t about who was more entertaining to watch. It was about the fact that 1) Scott was fishing in the vicinity of Laci’s body. 2) Scott washed himself and his clothes before even calling his missing wife. 3) Scott was the last person to see Laci alive. 4) And that Scott had a means, motive, and opportunity like no one else did. Although the jury were rubbed the wrong way by Scott’s demeanor, Scott was not convicted because the jury simply thought he seemed like he was lying or had bad character.
Random Info
Who’s is supporting Scott?
Scott’s supporters are mainly women most notably his sister Susan Caudillo, and his sister in law Janey Peterson. They run several websites and blogs about the case and call themselves the SPA (Scott Peterson Appeal) team. Their websites are linked below. They have explanations for everything Scott did in this case and spew their beliefs all over the internet.
The SPA team has pushed forward other suspects besides the ones discussed at trial. Laci’s family are some of their favorite suspects. Ron Grantski, Brent Rocha, Dennis Rocha, Amber Frey, and Amy Rocha have all been mentioned as possible suspects. For example, the SPA team throws suspicion on Dennis Rocha as Dennis had “deep-seated hatred” towards Scott. How do they know this? During his victim impact statement at the end of the trial Dennis said to Scott “You always thought you were better than us.” Apparently, this shows that Dennis had the motive to kill Laci or something. I don’t know their explanations are bizarre.
Why is Scott getting an appeal and maybe a new trial?
Scott is getting an appeal and maybe a new trial for two reasons. First, Scott gets a series of appeals because he was sentenced to death. It is routine for death row inmates to get a variety of appeals before their execution. The reason that Scott is possibly getting a new trial is because of issues with the jury in the first trial. As discussed above the case was incredibly hard to get a jury for and the appeals attorney is asking for a new trial due to juror misconduct, unreliable sniffer dog evidence, and issues with dismissed jurors. Scott is NOT getting a new trial due to new evidence, poor legal representation, or corruption within the police department or DAs office.
There are two major misconceptions I have seen mentioned online and I wanted to correct them here before the end of this piece. The first misconception that was spread by the media was that the Petersons’ house smelled like bleach when patrol officers first arrived. This was not true; patrol officers never reported this. The second misconception is that Diane Jackson saw the Medina home being robbed on the 24th. This is not true. Diane saw three men by a van who she thought were landscapers. She only reported this information when she learned of Laci’s disappearance later that day. Diane Jackson never saw the men robbing the house or carrying a safe to the van.
These books are a good place to start:
Deadly game by Catherine Crier
Presumed guilty by Matt Dalton
We the Jury by the members of the jury
Blood Brother by Anne Bird
For Laci by Sharon Rocha
The Murder of Laci Peterson by Pete Dove
Because most books are anti-Scott, I also read all information on these pro Scott websites in order to be thorough.
An interesting Psychology today article- https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/blind-injustice/201801/is-scott-peterson-innocent-part-one
If you want some laughs check out the Scott is Innocent Facebook page. There are a lot of people who think that Laci was abducted for a ritual purpose and that it has something to do with something called Pizza gate and Hollywood elites who cruise around northern CA abducting Hispanic looking women and cutting out their babies. (No, I am not kidding.)
If you want some thought provoking information about the Peterson family read this reddit post- https://www.reddit.com/ScottPetersonCase/comments/9eu7zi/peterson_family_lies/
After researching, reading, and exploring this case I think it is safe to say that Scott Peterson is guilty of his wife’s murder and that the doubt in this is case is not reasonable doubt at all. With that being said I do not think the media allowed for Scott to get an unbiased jury and I do think the hate spewed towards Scott’s family by the public was cruel and inappropriate, like the one bystander outside the court house who yelled at Jackie “I hope they fry your son!” However, I think if Scott gets a new trial, which he deserves, the outcome will likely be the same. What do you think, is there really doubt in the Laci Peterson case?
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2020.08.18 14:56 readingrachelx Housewife highlights - August 18th, 2020

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2020.08.17 16:51 Danbla Where can I find crime statistics?

UNODC: International Statistics on Crime and Justice
The World Bank: Intentional homicides (per 100,000 people)

North America

  1. Canada: Statistics Canada
  2. United States: Uniform Crime Reporting and Bureau of Justice Statistics
  3. Mexico: Incidencia delictiva del Fuero Común


  1. Albania: Statistikat e Krimeve, T1 - 2018
  2. Andorra: Estadística de seguretat: Detencions
  3. Austria: Polizeiliche Kriminalstatistik (PKS)
  4. Belarus: Registered crimes and crime rate in the Republic of Belarus
  5. Belgium: Statistiques de criminalité
  6. Bosnia: Kriminalitet
  7. Bulgaria: Престъпления
  9. Cyprus: Ενημερωτικό / Διαφωτιστικό Υλικό
  10. Czechia: Statistiky kriminality and Statistické přehledy kriminality za rok 2019
  11. Denmark: Kriminalitet
  12. Estonia: Kuritegevus Eestis
  13. Finland: Taulukot
  14. France: Insécurité et délinquance en 2018 : premier bilan statistique
  15. Germany: Polizeiliche Kriminalstatistik
  16. Greece: Στατιστικά Στοιχεία
  18. Iceland: Statistics Iceland Crime
  19. Ireland: Central Statistics Office Crime and Justice
  20. Italy: Delitti denunciati dalle forze di polizia all'autorità giudiziaria
  21. Kosovo
  22. Latvia: Reģistrēto noziedzīgo nodarījumu skaits
  23. Liechtenstein
  24. Lithuania: Nusikalstamumas ir baudžiamoji teisena
  25. Luxembourg
  26. North Macedonia
  27. Malta
  28. Moldova
  29. Monaco
  30. Montenegro
  31. Netherlands: Criminaliteit
  32. Norway: Sosiale forhold og kriminalitet: Kriminalitet og rettsvesen
  34. Portugal: Crimes registados pelas polícias: total e por algumas categorias de crime
  35. Romania: Baza de date TEMPO - serii de timp: selectati o matrice din domeniul JUSTITIE
  36. Russia: Статистика и аналитика
  37. San Marino
  38. Serbia
  39. Slovak Republic: Štatistika kriminality v Slovenskej republike
  40. Spain: Estadísticas de delincuencia en españa
  41. Sweden: Statistik utifrån brottstyper
  42. Switzerland: Polizeiliche Kriminalstatistik
  43. Turkey: Adalet İstatistikleri
  44. Ukraine: Статистична інформація з
  45. United Kingdom: Office for National Statistics Crime and justice
  46. Vatican City

South America



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